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Purrs918 Posted - 10/31/2012 : 2:29:20 PM
We've been invited to friends for TG. My hubby and I have decided to go. Our reluctance involves 'invading' a family gathering. We never do anything for 'free'. We always reciprocate no matter the situation. However, with this being a family thing, there just is nothing equal. My husband wants to provide the turkey for the hostess. Is that rude? To take it even further, he'd like to have her pick out the bird, and we'd pay for it. Once again, I'm not comfortable with that, it seems like buying our dinner. Hubby is adamant that we provide 'something substantial.' I told him I'd inquire of my knitting friends to see what others thought.

God created the cat so that man might caress the tiger.
15   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Shalee Posted - 11/11/2012 : 10:44:10 PM
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving: I have to pick up my son and his girlfriend and drive them 5-1/2 hours back to my house for Thanksgiving. I keep telling him how much I loved the food when I went down there one year. They got the complete Thanksgiving meal from Boston Market. I want to pre-order it to bring home for us. He thinks we should cook! I think he's nuts!

Sharon in NW PA
I always wanted my own library but I didn't realize it would be all knitting books!

sjanova Posted - 11/11/2012 : 5:47:33 PM
I've knit the lace oak leaves from Jackie E-S (HeartStrings) also. It's free to join the group on HeartStrings and then you can download the patterns she has every month. This month is knitted ribbons using sections of lace edgings that she has posted earlier in the year. She took down the free lace oak leaf pattern at the end of October -- she does this every month, changing to a new pattern and discussion during the month.

lucybug Posted - 11/07/2012 : 11:49:03 AM
I totally agree with everyone about NOT bringing or paying for the turkey. I would call and ask what side dish I could bring and include a hostess gift.

For the last several years we've had dinner at my stepson's family's house. I've tried to get my DIL to make assignments for sides so she has the right balance, but my suggestion falls on deaf ears. I really really miss making the turkey (I don't like the way they cook theirs and we don't get leftovers) so we decided to have TG at our house. We invited them but they're having dinner with her family. Anyway, we've invited a couple to join us and I've been hoping she would volunteer to bring something, but she hasn't offered and I don't know her well enough to ask. I don't mind making everything though. We've ordered an heirloom turkey from Whole Foods just to see if they're really as special as advertised. Hope I don't screw it up as it's pretty expensive.
jaymeKnits Posted - 11/06/2012 : 5:59:42 PM
I'd skip paying for the turkey. Go above and beyond on hostess gifts instead, flowers, wine and a pie if you bake or know of a GREAT bakery would be appreciated and not at all weird.

Check out my patterns:
Ceil Posted - 11/05/2012 : 7:27:20 PM
OK! I'll google and see what I can find!

(Ravelry: ceilr)
Time is never a factor when joy is involved.
Purrs918 Posted - 11/03/2012 : 06:41:48 AM
I got my first itch to knit leaves from Jackie (Heartstrings Fiber Arts). She also has a pattern for maple leaves for sale. I also googled knitted leaves and it appears that there are several free patterns out there.

God created the cat so that man might caress the tiger.
purlewe Posted - 11/02/2012 : 1:13:20 PM
I have a BIG thing once a yr and I specifically state what I as the hostess am making and ask them as the guests to each chime in with a side dish. But ti let me know as I don't want duplicates. I always pick and make my own turkey. And no, as thoughtful as your husband is I wouldn't want to be reimbursed. I offer 2 kinds of stuffing (one GF) and 1 desssert. Then people chime in with their side dishes.

Things people have brought over the yrs:
roasted brussel sprouts
mashed potatoes (altho I recommend making them and bringing them. One person thought they could make them at my house)
pumpkin casserole
corn pudding
cranberry salad
pumpkin souffle
glazed carrots

I also recently had a lovely brussel sprout salad that was fantastic and would be easy to prepare and take with as it is not cooked.

Good luck! and enjoy your evening!

Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming. ~Myrna Loy
Grand-moogi Posted - 11/01/2012 : 5:35:42 PM
Of course we do not have Thanksgiving in Australia but I read this thread with interest because the principles can apply to so many other celebrations. I love the idea of those leaves and sending one home with each family. Also the idea of knitting or crocheting something from your mother's stash is very beautiful. I have done that as I have my Mum's stash although she died 34 years ago. It has prompted me to have a good look at what is left from my Mum's stash and see if I can knit some small things for her grandchildren, especially the ones who were born after she died.
One day last year I realised it was my paternal grandfather's birthday. He died back in 1968 at the age of 86. I can't remember whether I did it on Facebook or an email addressed to all the family but I sent around info about him. Just a lot of memories and so many of the grandchildren who are now quite grown up but who never knew him were so pleased. I got quite a few very positive responses and thank-yous from them. People love a link with their past like that.

I knit a hug into every stitch
Ceil Posted - 11/01/2012 : 2:25:22 PM
Hmmm, knitted leaves? Got a pattern?

(Ravelry: ceilr)
Time is never a factor when joy is involved.
Purrs918 Posted - 11/01/2012 : 12:08:54 PM
Thanks for the input. We'll be bringing wine and other 'goodies'. I like the idea of the knitted leaves. I've wanted to do those for awhile, now I have a reason. (Who needs sleeves for a sweater in progress anyway?)

God created the cat so that man might caress the tiger.
robinstephanie Posted - 11/01/2012 : 04:33:12 AM
Completely agree with the other responders. It's above and beyond what's required and might be insulting. Selecting the turkey is the honor of the host/ess. Although it is a generous thought, it would take attention away from his or her efforts to prepare a lovely bird.

Instead, consider bringing more than one item. A nice dessert and a salad, or dessert and a bottle of wine, or dessert and a lovely knitted gift. (You see where I'm going with this. I bring one of my home-made pies to events like this.)

I remember my mother cooking Thanksgiving for her parents, four brothers, us four kids, and my father, and the only ones that ever cleaned up were us women. I don't remember my uncles ever bringing so much as a spoon to the kitchen. Offering to help with the cleanup is always appreciated. Perhaps your hubs could weigh in substantially there.

Plus, you are bringing yourselves, and they've invited you because they like you. You bring camaraderie and friendship just by being there.

Hope the preponderance of "ney" responses will hope to convince the hubs.


Different is good. ~Matthew Hoover
sjanova Posted - 10/31/2012 : 10:01:24 PM
I agree with Ceil. The hosting family prepares the turkey, in part because of its weight and in part because it needs to be cooked rather far ahead of time. And others bring a side dish or dessert or wine or whatever is their specialty. Most families have something particular to them (e.g., my sister wants the canned cranberry jelly while I want the uncooked cranberry relish but my other sister makes one with some kind of liquer (sp.) in it that my taste buds dislike -- yes, three kinds on the table if we're all there) (another e.g., my family is used to yams for Thanksgiving but DH and DBIL want mashed potatoes so, again, we have both). We bring the wine because we seem to have so many different kinds in the cellar.

A little extra gift for the host family, not to be used for that day, is nice but not required. I'll be taking 7 knitted lace oak leaves to decorate the table and sending one home with each family. At least one is from crochet thread from my mother's collection. After my sister took what she wanted -- hooks and thread -- I inherited the rest.

Ceil Posted - 10/31/2012 : 9:53:53 PM
My DH and I don't have family nearby, so we are ALWAYS stuck at TG.

When we host, I roast a stuffed turkey and ask everyone else to bring something to go along with it. It's a real gift when I don't have to peel or mash the potatoes, as much as I love to eat them.

When we are invited elsewhere, they roast the turkey and we bring something to go with it.

Roasting a turkey for someone else? Gosh I wouldn't think of it! Consider how heavy the thing is! Do you really want to transport it?

I wouldn't worry about reciprocating. Fix up some nifty side dish or dessert or something and enjoy yourselves! And who knows? You may wind up going home with the carcass, so you can make soup! That happened to us once!

(Ravelry: ceilr)
Time is never a factor when joy is involved.
flicka Posted - 10/31/2012 : 8:19:52 PM
Flowers make a nice hostess gift. Preferably delivered ahead of time. (I have had issues with out-of-town florists, but I still think flowers are a nice gift.)

purlthis Posted - 10/31/2012 : 5:13:39 PM
You're a guest, there is no need to do so much. Take wine or a dessert. To offer to buy something like the turkey could be insulting. Just relax and have fun!

As I get older, I prefer to knit. Tracey Ullman UPDATED! WITH PICS!

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