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 Am I being unreasonable?
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knitnerd
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
423 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:21:06 PM  Show Profile Send knitnerd a Private Message
I belong to a knitting group that meets on Wednesday nights. I am the only member who does not live within walking distance of the meeting place. I take a bus and a subway and walk 9 blocks. I am also the most experienced knitter and usually bring books,yarn and projects to show. For the last two weeks I have been the only one showing up. Is it unfair to expect others to post on the group's message board that they won't be able to come?

Milinda
Permanent Resident

USA
3817 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:31:47 PM  Show Profile Send Milinda a Private Message
If you all have a message board, then I fail to see why they display such poor manners by not letting you know they were not going to be present. I don't think you are being unreasonable.

M L
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Trina
Permanent Resident

USA
1871 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:33:44 PM  Show Profile Send Trina a Private Message
Knitnerd, I feel the same way you do. This happened to a kniiting meetup in my area. No one showed up! Ususlly every meetup gets cancelled anyway & I'm thoroughly disgusted with the whole thing! Will search to find another knitters group! You should too!

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
-Langston Hughes
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fillyjonk
Permanent Resident

1127 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:36:49 PM  Show Profile  Visit fillyjonk's Homepage Send fillyjonk a Private Message
I do not think it is unreasonable at all. Like you said, it's an effort for you to get there. You might post on the group's message board that unless there is an RSVP, you will consider that the group has disbanded or some such thing.

It may not be rudeness on the others' parts - they may just not know better unless you tell them (politely, please!)

I belong to a book club that meets irregularly and we've decided that it's necessary to RSVP when someone is holding it, so they can plan on whether anyone will show up (a couple times, it's been just me and the hostess)
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myshelle10
Permanent Resident

USA
2749 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:42:07 PM  Show Profile Send myshelle10 a Private Message
Um... totally fair. I'm almost appalled that you're asking the question. Mostly b/c they know you have to trek out there... *no one* should be the only one to show up at a group meeting ;P ick!
m
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  3:57:23 PM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message
Not unreasonable at all. I have to take the bus/subway and my buddies understand that and let me know. Sometimes infi\ormal gatherings get too informal.

Monika

"There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it makes hunger and unhappiness." Gandhi
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susnp25
Chatty Knitter

Australia
346 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  5:54:03 PM  Show Profile Send susnp25 a Private Message
Knitnerd,
I would put on the groups message board exactly what you do to get there and then request that if people are not able to come then you feel a quick message would save you going to all that trouble.
I don't think it a bit unfair to ask, its just good manners on their behalf.
Perhaps you could leave it to them to state they are coming each week before you even consider stepping out of your house.
I too would consider another group at this time.
Susan
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  8:05:38 PM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message
Crazy idea, but why not hold the meetings closer to your place? That way even if no one shows up, you still get to hang out for a bit and don't have far to go.

Monika

"There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it makes hunger and unhappiness." Gandhi
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Marg in Mirror
Permanent Resident

Canada
3205 Posts

Posted - 01/22/2004 :  10:37:34 PM  Show Profile  Visit Marg in Mirror's Homepage  Send Marg in Mirror a Yahoo! Message Send Marg in Mirror a Private Message
No, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It is the others who are being inconsiderate! I imagine you hold the meetings where you do because the majority live nearby, or the place is large enough for all of you, or makes really good coffee or whatever...and even if you move it closer to your place, that is not going to solve the problem of the others' lack of manners! In fact, it might make them even less inclined to show up! I would suggest that you post your feelings (gently but firmly) about what's been going on and ask the others what they want to do about the problem. If nobody responds to the post, I'd find another knitting group! :-)

-- Marg in Calgary

TLWKOTB
http://knitsonthebus.blogspot.com
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