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Clara
queen bee
USA
4363 Posts |
 Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:20:09 AM
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I just got this off AP Newswire and wanted to pass it to you as quickly as possible:
Apr 1, 9:03 AM EST
Federal Government Bans Knitting in Public Buildings
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) -- Citing the rapid rise in the number of new knitters over the past 12 months, the United States Congress and Senate have both taken unprecedented measures in passing a bill banning knitting inside any public building, according to documents released Thursday.
Under the terms of the new law, knitters are required to take their knitting at least 10 yards from any public building. Although they are allowed to carry knitting inside, anybody caught engaging in the act of knitting may be subject to a $10,000 fine or 10 years imprisonment.
According to recent studies, the mere sight of a knitter actively knitting increases a person's odds of becoming a knitter by 200 percent. The dangers of second-hand knitting have long been a concern for Federal worker Irene Schlamp, who is happy to see the bill pass. "It's been a big problem in my department, where people often take four, five, or even six knitting breaks a day. Those of us who want to do our work can't because we're so distracted by the clacking of those damned needles."
But not everybody is happy about the news. "This is so unfair!" says Betty Schnoodle, a worker at a U.S. Postal Service processing plant in Louisiana. "Why should we be forced to huddle outside in the cold when we want to take a knitting break? We're not hurting anybody."
Human rights group AmKnitty International has already filed a suit claiming the new law is unconstitutional and violates the civil rights of knitters everywhere. Click here for the full story.
Clara
Your friendly Knitter's Review publisher
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mokey
Permanent Resident
15375 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:21:42 AM
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I'm not clicking 'cos this screams April Fools!
Monika
"There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it makes hunger and unhappiness." Gandhi |
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Clara
queen bee
USA
4363 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:23:46 AM
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Well if you don't click you won't know. 
Clara
Your friendly Knitter's Review publisher
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Martheme
Sustaining Member
USA
1565 Posts |
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Elizabeth
Permanent Resident
USA
1557 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:48:55 AM
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| Excellent! |
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LJ
Permanent Resident
USA
1918 Posts |
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schoolmama
Permanent Resident
USA
2309 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:56:00 AM
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LOL I knew somebody was going to do this--one of my kids isn't home to do it and the other one isn't up to any tricks so far.
Barb |
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MichelleKS
New Pal
45 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:58:51 AM
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This was funny. Although I wouldn't put it past the government to pass so stupid rule like this. Happy April Fools to all of you. This is also my Wedding Anniversary - 9 happy years today! 
Michelle
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sabknits
New Pal
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 09:59:12 AM
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I work and live near DC and DH works in one of those government buildings. I was ready to stage a "knit in" in protest! Should have known better, since DC hosts one of the many "Knit Out" events every summer! Had me going, though. Thanks for the giggle! sab
sab |
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prixby
Chatty Knitter
USA
156 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:03:06 AM
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I like the "AmKnitty" International human rights group - very clever, Clara!
prixby
Life is what happens while we're listening to music. |
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Jolene
Sustaining Member
USA
315 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:04:12 AM
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You got me, you 
Jolene |
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pswolf
New Pal
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:05:34 AM
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Clara,
I figured this was April Fools but then, the way things are today............!?
You definitely must have spent too much time here in the Bay Area.
Your old friend
Pat Wolf |
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knittiegirl
Gabber Extraordinaire
USA
389 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:09:19 AM
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Consider Me Gotten!!! Happy April Fools to you too! : )
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
http://khrystyn.typepad.com/ |
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marilydic
New Pal
USA
32 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:14:39 AM
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Yikes.. you had me going on this one for a second....nice job Clara, perfect for a yucky rainy april day!
mari |
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joette
New Pal
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:22:08 AM
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| Very clever! This should be on sale as a tee shirts. |
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ChristinaP
Permanent Resident
USA
1089 Posts |
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Luann
Permanent Resident
USA
2610 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:40:53 AM
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But you all know this statistic has to be true:
"According to recent studies, the mere sight of a knitter actively knitting increases a person's odds of becoming a knitter by 200 percent. "
Har-har-har!
Thanks Clara!
Luann
Knit and let knit! |
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KristallsKorner
New Pal
1 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:45:50 AM
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Okay, okay! First I was getting mad, then I thought what a bunch of &@#$ lunatics, then realized ohhh wait! It's April 1st! What a fool I am! Now I have to say it's a darn good thing this came up, because I nearly forgot that my aniversary is in 5 more days!  Thanks for the fun and the reminder! |
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Jane
SustaYning Member
USA
4293 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 10:47:08 AM
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Thanks for the laugh, Clara! So far, April Fool's Day has been anything but fun here at the bookstore where I work, since we had to institute a a bound-to-be-unpopular change in our discount policy. I am spending the day under major stress! You made me smile, so thanks again.
Jane
-- on the end of
Long Island, New York
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Clara
queen bee
USA
4363 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 11:09:31 AM
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You know how many years I've waited for April 1 to fall on a Thursday? (i.e. newsletter day) FINALLY!!
Clara
Your friendly Knitter's Review publisher
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fillyjonk
Permanent Resident
1127 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 11:17:02 AM
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Hah...the KR newsletter had me goin' "Wha'?" but as soon as I got to this discussion (and saw the "headline") I remembered what day it was.
still, good one, Clara! |
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