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Licensed2Cook
Permanent Resident

USA
3554 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  06:48:04 AM  Show Profile  Send Licensed2Cook a Yahoo! Message Send Licensed2Cook a Private Message
Too funny ladies!!!!!

I also find patterns written for beginners when you are no longer a beginner sometimes harder to follow because they explain too much and in a strange way. I am working on an Ann Norling sock pattern (Pebble Rib Sock) and there is so much "extra" fluff in the directions I had to stop knitting the sock at my knit out night because I got distracted by it. I kept glancing down for the next row instructions only to get caught in the loop of reading all that extra stuff each time. Next time Ann N. please just the facts ma'am!

Dee
~Licensed2Knit
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Susan T-O
Permanent Resident

USA
2481 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  07:52:55 AM  Show Profile  Visit Susan T-O's Homepage Send Susan T-O a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by jennywhite

You guys are just too much!!
Susan- that pattern only served 3 for me. There must be a mistake in it somewhere.
~Jenny




Jenny, you are correct, there is indeed errata. Every place you see the word "knit," it should be replaced with "SSK, PSSO."

--Susan T-O in Long Beach CA

"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression." --Thomas Paine
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of troy
Permanent Resident

USA
2474 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  09:22:32 AM  Show Profile  Visit of troy's Homepage Send of troy a Private Message
can i reference this thread when i next submit a pattern?

i just wrote a pattern for simplied socks (seamless, but no kitchener required, fool proof joining into rounds, and neat easy to shape heels and toes, with no short rows turns.)

it does require a provisional crochet cast on, the ability to do ssk and k2tog and to be able to pick up stitches (never more than 1 at a time!) both knit wise and purl wise. (so its not a total beginners pattern, but designed as first time sock knitters pattern.

the socks look 'conventional' but the style of knitting them is anything but!
by pattern is about 8 pages long. i could get rid of the double spacing between the row directions and bring it down to 6.

and i could get rid of list of suggested 'options' to make various 'different' socks from the same basic pattern (listed at the end), and bring it down to 5.

if i ran the directions together ie (row 1: knit1, purl1 repeat, row 2: purl1, knit1, repeat, row 3:..) instead of putting each new ROW on a new line, it could shrink it more.. (and i know the editors will do that if i get it published) i could 'lose' another page.
but since i am advancing a new concept (and designed the pattern for first time sock knitters) i have a lot of details and notes.

and editors love to just hack those out!

somehow the notion of explaining what is going on, and why (in a pattern) is considered wrong!


See my photo albums, (edit-NO PASSWORD REQUIRED) http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v299/oftroy/
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Ditzy Girl
Permanent Resident

USA
4723 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  09:39:38 AM  Show Profile Send Ditzy Girl a Private Message
What a great funny topic. I always figure the errors are there to keep me on my toes, plus major translation snafau. I sometimes wonder if the translater knits or do they just find anyone that can translate to do it regardless. Keep it up you guys this is a good thread.

Zola, Seattle, Wash.

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SerMom
Permanent Resident

Canada
6412 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  12:08:24 PM  Show Profile Send SerMom a Private Message
Rachel, did it mention whose Sabbath? Or should you just use them all to cover your bases? I love this thread. We should maybe have another one for the dumb mistakes we make. Someday, I'll tell you about my first glove. And, of course, my lace adventures fill several blog entries.

Part of the problem, of course, is in editing. After all, the writer knows exactly what they mean, it's the editor's job to make sure the rest of us do!

Barbara
Remember, we're self-selecting!

My photos: password: sermom
My blog:
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Diva Ree
Gabber Extraordinaire

537 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  12:30:08 PM  Show Profile Send Diva Ree a Private Message
Before I knew corrections were on the websites of some of the magazines, I found a pattern for a relatively EASY scarf with a cable pattern. It was supposed to be EASY and I had reduced myself to an idiot for not being able to understand why the pattern wasn't working out. I ended up doing it "my way" and ended up not liking it as well because in my head, I knew it wasn't the same as the pattern even though my scarf looked like the picture.

Last week, on a whim, I looked the magazine up online and saw the "corrections" cagegory. Out of ALL the projects I could have picked, I picked the one that had a correction for row 8.
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RachelKnitter
Permanent Resident

USA
2995 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  12:31:47 PM  Show Profile Send RachelKnitter a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by SerMom

Rachel, did it mention whose Sabbath? Or should you just use them all to cover your bases?


Just one of the many vague instructions....

quote:
Part of the problem, of course, is in editing. After all, the writer knows exactly what they mean, it's the editor's job to make sure the rest of us do!


My guess, actually, is it's the editor's fault in editing for space, trying to condense as much info into one line as possible. I'm sorry, there's just gotta be a better way to say it than: "Decrease one stitch at armhole edge on next and 3 following 4th rows," (the next 4th row and the 3 following 4th rows? Or the next row, and 3 following 4th rows? It's just bad grammar!) And then you're going to throw an "at the same time" clause on top of that regarding what to do for the next and alternating rows until you have 18 stitches left on the needle? It's criminal! (And by the way, even if my first post was an exaggeration, this rant is not--these are actual pattern instructions).
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phlame
Permanent Resident

USA
1559 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  1:32:46 PM  Show Profile Send phlame a Private Message
I wish I had read this sooner...I needed a good laugh! I didn't read it for a few days, but then curiosity got the best of me....truly funny!

Shirley in Claremont, CA (& sometimes, Dana Point)




Bacteria: the only culture some people have!
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Diva Ree
Gabber Extraordinaire

537 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  3:21:03 PM  Show Profile Send Diva Ree a Private Message
I have a pattern that tells you how many sts you should have at different points, but it doesn't tell you those are how many stitches you have ONLY if you are knitting the small size. Then, when you get to the armhole shaping, they forgot to subtract the bindoff stitches, so you have 2 fewer stitches on the needles on top of the number of stitches you're off for knitting a size other than the "small".
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dschmidt
Permanent Resident

3958 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  4:05:39 PM  Show Profile Send dschmidt a Private Message
Oh, this is wonderful. Every time I teach someone to knit and get a simple pattern for them that they like(you'd think I could get them to like the same pattern so I don't have to keep repeating this agony but no), I run into instructions that make no sense and have to sit and really work to figure it out. I thought I was alone in this but now I know differently.

Donna in VA
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tamarabean
Chatty Knitter

149 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  5:36:17 PM  Show Profile  Visit tamarabean's Homepage Send tamarabean a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Susan T-O

Cast on 57 stitches using lefthanded fly fishing casting, unless you live at a ski resort, in which case you should use the cable car method. Knit twice into each third stitch, skipping stitches 1, 7, 11, and pink, being careful not to twist round. You should now have 15 stitches on your needle. Repeat from * until desired length is reached, unless you want it to be longer in which case bind off five stitches, then pick up four stitches along right edge. DO NOT TURN. Set oven for 350. Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around. Switch to smaller needle for rows 18, 23, 25, 19, 31, and 27. Check gauge. Knit in garter stitch using continental method ONLY, as any other way of knitting is WRONG and I will have to come arrest you for violation of Knitting Penal Code Section 14.2(a). Bind off using long-tail cast on method. Serves 4.




ThangQ Susan for that. I laughed my fool head off :p
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dragonmom
Seriously Hooked

USA
956 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  7:53:25 PM  Show Profile Send dragonmom a Private Message
god, susan, you not only made me laugh, you made a new knitter (2 weeks, and doesn't know ANY terms) and my DD who is right now angry because she's been sitting there for 3 hours getting her hair pulled through a streaking mask (her friend has never done it before) laugh as well. also, jenny, your comment about serving three also got a smile from them as well. you need to go on the road, susan!
Minnie


the world is knitted from one beautifully variegated skein and it's up to us not to drop a stitch.
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fmarrs
Guardian angel

USA
9776 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2004 :  9:07:59 PM  Show Profile Send fmarrs a Private Message
Dee,
I thought adding extra words to patterns was my talent. I get enough requests for it......LOL. See my posting under "not sure"

fran
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Tabbico
Seriously Hooked

USA
960 Posts

Posted - 11/14/2004 :  1:55:24 PM  Show Profile Send Tabbico a Private Message
God strike me dead if this is not a real pattern:

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. This is from 1860's Godey's Lady's Book - the Civil War version of Woman's Day. The directions are for an undersleeve, which goes from your wrist to your elbow. Often, they were knit from wool in the winter to keep your lower arm warm (remember they wore those big Pagoda sleeves).

"Cast on seventy-two stitches, loosely, on steel needles (note - no needle size, gauge, this is why I love these patterns); knit two stitches forwards and two back for eighteen lines, making a band. The bands are all alike. For the puffs, wrap round twice, take two together backwards; knit sixteen lines in this way for the first puff; for the second puff twenty lines, and the last thirty-six lines; sew the sleeves up."

And this is one of the easier patterns to figure out!!!!

Polly



www.tabbico.blogspot.com
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sallyjo
Permanent Resident

USA
2401 Posts

Posted - 11/14/2004 :  5:39:35 PM  Show Profile Send sallyjo a Private Message
When I was first learning to knit, I came across a pattern that said "turn heel."

"as if God had shrugged his shoulders (and) presently our civilization will once again belong to the misshapen, the moonstruck, and the damned" Woolcott Gibbs
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gely
New Pal

33 Posts

Posted - 11/14/2004 :  5:58:42 PM  Show Profile Send gely a Private Message
Susan, you crack me up! But at least you serve 4. My local supermarket is offering a complete turkey dinner that severs 10-12 people. Wonder how many are going to try that one?
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kristajo
Gabber Extraordinaire

Canada
436 Posts

Posted - 11/14/2004 :  7:47:53 PM  Show Profile Send kristajo a Private Message
Whenever I see instructions that make my head swim and my eyes water I get out my crayons and visually represent (i.e. draw a picture) the steps. Works like a charm (if the instructions are correct, of course....)

Krista Jo

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Tabbico
Seriously Hooked

USA
960 Posts

Posted - 11/14/2004 :  9:25:48 PM  Show Profile Send Tabbico a Private Message
Sallyjo, I think your instructions were incomplete. Instead of "turn heel" it should have read "turn heel and run."

Polly

www.tabbico.blogspot.com
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RachelKnitter
Permanent Resident

USA
2995 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2004 :  09:09:46 AM  Show Profile Send RachelKnitter a Private Message
Oh, dear. I just got to the shaping instructions for the right front piece. It just says to reverse the instructions for the left front, which I barely understood to begin with. Now I need to reverse them?!@#$!?!?
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twstdstchs
Chatty Knitter

178 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2004 :  9:10:23 PM  Show Profile Send twstdstchs a Private Message
I was just doing some Christmas shopping online, I was on the Wal-Mart site looking for toys. Somehow though, I found myself scrolling through the knitting books. I came across this one called "Stitched Up: 31 Postcards From Knitting Pattern Hell". There was no picture and no details although it was available to ship in 24 hrs. I didn't order it, but I bet it would be good for a laugh! Sheryl
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