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irishmomof9
Chatty Knitter

USA
142 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  09:00:02 AM  Show Profile Send irishmomof9 a Private Message
Is it just me, or does anyone else find some people just seem so angry when they see you knitting (or quilting, crocheting, etc)? I've had comments such as "I just wouldn't have the time in my busy day", or "Oh, I always buy sweaters (quilts, baby blankets, layettes, etc) at (big-name store)", as if the handmade ones were second-rate. When we were young, I proudly knitted an entire layette for my husband's sister's new baby. It took a long time, but I was so proud and happy 'cause it turned out so beautifully! The new mother opened the gift, set it aside, and said "Thanks, but the baby already has one of those!" Let me know if I'm the only one who gets reactions like these. Why are people like that?

...and may God hold you in the palm of His hand

RoseByAny
Permanent Resident

USA
12598 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  09:04:00 AM  Show Profile  Visit RoseByAny's Homepage Send RoseByAny a Private Message
The woman who said "the baby already has one" should be shot immediately and not allowed to reproduce anymore. First of all, you don't say that about ANY gift. Second, does the baby only have one diaper? NO because babies need duplicates of a lot of things in their lives. And third, if you don't have a gun handy, stab her in the temple with a size 3 aluminum.


"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable."
http://RoseByAny.BlogSpot.Com
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Boogie
Permanent Resident

USA
3073 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  09:20:42 AM  Show Profile  Visit Boogie's Homepage Send Boogie a Private Message
Hey Amie, Say what you really feel

I have gotten a feeling from certain people that they think handmade is less valuable. When the other side of my family feels its MORE valuable. You can guess which side gets more gifts these days.

amy
http://theboogerblog.blogspot.com
http://www.spunkyhats.com
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JeanneL
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
394 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  09:38:18 AM  Show Profile  Visit JeanneL's Homepage Send JeanneL a Private Message
I'm not sure I'd call it angry, but I get the "I wouldn't have time..." from people, including family, all the time. I also get the comments that I'm not "doing anything" if I'm knitting. I think people that don't knit just don't understand that it is doing something, and that you make the time for things you want to do.

However, I would certainly agree that your sister in law was really rude! I guess she was never taught good manners? Regardless of whether the gift was made by someone, I was taught to say thank you, and not negatively comment. But for a gift you made? You should have just taken it back.....I'd guess there is something else there, however, unless she's always rude. Maybe she's jealous of your knitting ability?

Jeanne
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fmarrs
Guardian angel

USA
9776 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  10:42:00 AM  Show Profile Send fmarrs a Private Message
Whenever you hear those comments be sure to translate them before getting offended.

Translation: "I'm so dumb, I don't know the difference." and
"I'm so busy because I don't know how to live." and
"I'm too busy to waste my time.".........okay.......slug the last one.

fran
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Luann
Permanent Resident

USA
2678 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  10:47:58 AM  Show Profile  Visit Luann's Homepage Send Luann a Private Message
Thanks for the laugh, you guys! I hear "You must have a lot of time on your hands" type comments only when I am knitting in public, which is exclusively when I'm waiting in a doctor's office or something like that, and the person who says it is picking through a pile of yucky waiting room magazines looking for something decent to read while she sits there waiting, just like me!

Luann

Knit and let knit!
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KnitSteph
Chatty Knitter

121 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  11:06:33 AM  Show Profile  Visit KnitSteph's Homepage  Send KnitSteph a Yahoo! Message Send KnitSteph a Private Message
I get the "I wouldn't have time to do that" from people alot and I just have to giggle.

I'm a single mom of three kids (one a teenaged girl) and I'm a full time college student and I manage to find time. Like sitting in the waiting room for my son's speech appointments, sitting in the drs office, lunch break during college etc.



My Knitting Blog
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)
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azknitter
Honorary Angel

5539 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  11:46:53 AM  Show Profile Send azknitter a Private Message
OOOOOOOOH, If ANYONE said that to me, I'd tell them right in front of everyone, well OK then, I'll just give it to someone who does need it...and the I'd take it back....and leave.

I have no patience for ungrateful, and worse, ungracious gift recipients.

I've been given many a gift in the past that I neither needed nor wanted, but I still felt I had an obligation to be gracious and not hurt the givers feelings, and grateful they thought enough of me to take the time to make something special just for me.

I think we should all get together and "Gang Knit" her!..

Trish
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blwinteler
Permanent Resident

USA
3145 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  11:53:37 AM  Show Profile  Visit blwinteler's Homepage  Send blwinteler a Yahoo! Message Send blwinteler a Private Message
When I was looking for inexpensive yarn for felting to make my first felted bag, I saw a woman looking at the yarn. She needed help reaching something high up, a novelty yarn. I'm short, but I had my kid with me. I picked him up as high as I could and he grabbed it. She asked me what I was looking for, and I told her. Her response "oh, you could probably buy a purse cheaper." Of all people, someone who was buying half a dozen skeins of a novelty yarn, as well as other nice yarn, said that to me. I looked at her, a bit surprised, and said "oh, I know. But it is more for learning the technique and enjoying the knitting." She just nodded and went back to what she was doing.

Take care!
Brandy

My finished projects

Seen on a church marquee: Blessed are the flexible, for they shall never be bent out of shape.
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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  2:31:54 PM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
I've had so many people tell me they "don't have time" but they spend their evenings in front of the tv.

If I were you, I probably would have grabbed the item out of her hands and said, "If you don't want it, then give it back to me."

My favorite is still the irritation that I get from other people when I tell them I'm knitting socks. Esp, some of the people I work with - "just buy them." One person said (commenting about my socks), "Oh those would be too hot for me to wear. I saw some really cute ones at Target the other day that I would probably wear and wouldn't be so hot."

erica :)
http://erica-lee.org/knit/blog/archive.html
Join the Midwest Knitters' Blog Ring
http://midwestknit.blogspot.com
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sweetnsour
Chatty Knitter

USA
156 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  2:48:09 PM  Show Profile Send sweetnsour a Private Message
I either get "I wish I had the time to do that" or "I wish I could do that" whenever someone sees me making something. I used to do customer service and tech support, so much time was spent sitting at a desk. I needed something else besides surfing the web to do, and I could bead or work with yarn while I was on the phone without it distracting me too much.

When I worked as a tech, the tech guys were cool with it, because many of them brought things in to keep themselves busy (some built models, some made chain mail, some just read...all types there) and they were respectful of what I was doing.

When I went to another place doing mostly customer service, all the females gave me the "I don't have time for that" comments, and I said I like making things and I find the time somehow, usually while doing something else passive like listening to music, talking on the phone or on IM, or when I'm watching something on TV that doesn't have my whole attention. It usually ends in a "wow, that's neat" comment and hollow offers to buy material in exchange for an item. Still waiting on that blank check for wool.

I used to take the comment badly to mean "You don't have enough to do" , but someone else pointed out part of it could be sour grapes as well, because some handmade things are just nicer than what you get in the chain store of your choice. That and a crafter's time management skills are just plain enviable.

I figure most of the time people waste watching reality shows could produce a few scarves or part of a sweater. My friend that just learned to knit has an extra hyper little devil of a 3 year old, kittens crawling under her feet all the time, and other assorted chaos going on around her, and is exhausted more than a few times during the week, and she finds the time. She doesn't get things done as fast as I do, but she does.

People are impatient nowadays as well, and they want something now instead of waiting for something nice.

Then there's always the comment "I do this to keep from choking you." THAT gets people off your case!

Amy (snickering)
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KL
Permanent Resident

6041 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  4:26:35 PM  Show Profile Send KL a Private Message
Irishmom-Perhaps you can comment to the rude person" Gee it sound like you may have a problem manageing your time well. Maybe I could give you some hints as how to do it better". That should shut her up and make her think next time. KL
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azknitter
Honorary Angel

5539 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  5:19:16 PM  Show Profile Send azknitter a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by KL

Irishmom-Perhaps you can comment to the rude person" Gee it sound like you may have a problem manageing your time well. Maybe I could give you some hints as how to do it better". That should shut her up and make her think next time. KL



I love that!

Trish
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nancyknits
New Pal

USA
9 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  6:07:23 PM  Show Profile Send nancyknits a Private Message
Maybe the baby will spit up and poop on the layette she already has? Just remember Every Cinderella has her midnight.
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TrueStar
Chatty Knitter

USA
199 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  7:32:54 PM  Show Profile  Visit TrueStar's Homepage Send TrueStar a Private Message
Wow that comment just totally didn't make sense. I mean...it is a gift. Free Stuff! Even if she isn't into knitted gifts, at least it is something she can use for the baby. Furthermore, that was horribly tactless. Babies always need clothes! They slobber and get food everywhere...what if she said that about her own underwear... :(

http://commuknits.typepad.com/
Jake: Your rap name would be 'Kid Mohair'
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KellyPg
Chatty Knitter

Malaysia
167 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2005 :  11:11:20 PM  Show Profile Send KellyPg a Private Message
Irishmomof9, the mother is just plain rude. Or jealous. Or ignorant (about baby care and/or about knitting). Bet she got a shock how baby can pile on the chores.

Trish, when's the Gang Knit?

I've never got any negative comments (not in my face, anyway). I guess I'm surrounded by thoughtful people. I'm thankful.



Kelly
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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2005 :  07:22:06 AM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
I did have a slight problem with my SIL. She never said thank you for a sweater and hat that I made for her daughter. I was a bit hurt by it, but DH asked her about it and she said she didn't realize I'd made it. I had put my tag in it and I was there when she opened it stating very clearly that I'd made it. A few days after DH asked her about it, she sent me a thank you note with photos of my niece in the sweater. Now she's very quick on the thank you notes. I think sometimes people don't realize the work that goes into handknit items.

Very clearly, Irishmom's SIL will be grateful for the extra blanket sooner than later and hopefully, she'll express her gratitude for it. We can only hope.

erica :)
http://erica-lee.org/knit/blog/archive.html
Join the Midwest Knitters' Blog Ring
http://midwestknit.blogspot.com
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Maybird
Chatty Knitter

United Kingdom
155 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2005 :  10:18:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit Maybird's Homepage Send Maybird a Private Message
It takes time to convert people. My sister used to laugh at my knitting. I made her a pair of socks, about which she wasn't very enthusiastic. oh well, I thought, I enjoyed making them. I can live with it. Now, several months later, they are her favourite socks in the universe and she goes on and on about how comfy they are with her boots and how they never slide down her feet and tells everyone I am a genius and even takes her boots off in public to show people... I am so pleased (and smug!)! So...
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chris
Permanent Resident

USA
2463 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2005 :  12:46:36 PM  Show Profile Send chris a Private Message
I upset my former MIL when I was young. She had crocheted a christening outfit for our son, which he wore when he was baptized, as well as a whole bunch of other hats, sweaters, booties, etc. When FH and I split up shortly after the birth of our second son, I returned most of the hand made things to my MIL. She looked at me with such loathing, I thought I'd die. When she finally calmed down a bit, I told her that I had kept one of each of the outfits she had made for each grandson, but that I felt she might want to keep the others for other grandchildren or to give to the boys when they were older. I wasn't returning them out of anger, but out of respect for all the work she had put into them, and that I would always treasure the ones that I had kept (which are still in my cedar chest, waiting for my first grandkids, should they ever appear). Thankfully, she understood what I meant and forgave my gesture.

But, I've met people, who, whenever you give them a gift, denigrate it. I think they have a difficult time saying thank you. However, ever after, I give them $ or gift cards and let them buy their own gifts. If they're put out by that, it's their own fault. I can't please them with my choices, let them buy their own!

chrsi (or something like that)

Keep on knittin', mama, knittin' those blues away!
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qtpieknitter
Gabber Extraordinaire

Canada
583 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2005 :  1:25:42 PM  Show Profile Send qtpieknitter a Private Message
My SIL is ignorant as well. I made an apple hat when her DD was born, she barely said thanks, but the kid still wears it to this day(at least my niece has good taste!). I made my niece a poncho for Christmas, and instead of saying thank you, she asked me to fix it,as it was too loose. I was going to make her a matching hat for her Bday, well too bad. My mom crocheted my niece 2 ponchos for Christmas, and she only had negative comments. My mom has sewn this kid clothes, and made a bunch of stuff for her, and she is rarely thankful. The kid herself is growing up to be a real little ******, and she just turned 3.

She asked me and my mom to teach her how to knit and crochet, and she does not have the time to sit and practice! I think that she realizes that she is not very good and won't bother. I could go on about this woman, let's just say that my parents thought she was an angel before she married my bro, now they realize she is a b****.

Mostly, I've had good comments. I tend to forget the negative ones, I don't have the brain space for that.

"A gifted teacher is as rare as a gifted doctor, and makes far less money."
Anonymous
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knittherapy
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
375 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2005 :  3:26:41 PM  Show Profile  Send knittherapy a Yahoo! Message Send knittherapy a Private Message
Irishmomof9, I would've taken the gift back. Someone that incredibly rude doesn't deserve it.

Lori [img]http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/knit.gif[/img]

My knitting photos
I'm blogging now!
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