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 What's the ugliest thing you've ever knitted?
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Chatty Knitter

New Zealand
320 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  04:17:59 AM  Show Profile  Visit eclair's Homepage Send eclair a Private Message
I've just been babysitting for my brother and his wife who took a couple of days off from work, home and children. I was left with their toddler and very picky five year old who refuses to wear the collection of lovingly knitted cardigans sent to her by grandmothers and great aunties. Never having been one to resist a challenge I offered to knit her a poncho - she is a very fashion-conscious child and knows that they are very trendy right now. In that hope that it would improve its chances of being worn, I took her shopping and gave her a choice of yarn - anything she liked. (Okay, I would have drawn the line at cashmere) She chose the fluffiest, shiniest, nylon-iest eyelash yarn- in variegated pink, dark pink, purple and gold. She carried the yarn home herself and took a strand of it into school to show to her friends and teachers. I knitted up the poncho (in the round on medium-large needles) in three days and it was the ugliest furry thing I've seen in years. The toddler kept stroking it, saying 'cat'. My niece, however, adores the revolting article and has worn it to school every day since I left nearly a week ago. We have all agreed with her that she looks fabulous in it whilst everyone is universally aghast at the hideousness of the thing.

She looks like a muppet. A very happy, proud muppet.

And I'm very glad to have made it for her. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long enough to become a hand-me-down. As my daughter is next in line.

What's the ugliest thing you guys have ever made? And why?


SustaYning Member

4435 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  04:57:25 AM  Show Profile  Visit Jane's Homepage Send Jane a Private Message
I love your story! What a wonderful aunt you are, to be willing to knit something only your niece could love. I'll have to think long and hard to come up with my own Ugliest Knitting -- later, because I'm at work now...

Thanks for the sweet chuckle, Eclair!


Blog-like thing: not plain jane
Photos:jane's pages
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Chatty Knitter

United Kingdom
155 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  05:01:15 AM  Show Profile  Visit Maybird's Homepage Send Maybird a Private Message
Several years ago, my cousin asked me to knit her a bag out of her favourite yarn, as a Christmas present. I said of course. Then she gave me the yarn. It was neon green nylon ribbon yarn. I had to tell her there wasn't quite enough of it, so she went off and came back next week with a skein of PURPLE eyelash yarn. She thought I could use it in stripes. I did do it, but the slippery ribbon and the tangly eyelash were a real struggle and I got a bout of RSI in my right wrist. I hated it - I thought it looked exactly like one of those hairy stripy caterpillars or possibly a variegated sea-slug. But my cousin loved it and took it off to University, where it got laughed at by all her friends.

Now it lives in my cousin's daughter's dressing-up box. The little girl puts it on her head and pretends to be an alien princess.
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Mary Holton
Chatty Knitter

121 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  05:59:25 AM  Show Profile Send Mary Holton a Private Message
Years ago, I made my dear friend a yellow , variegated scarf. The colors where very tacky. It was one of my first project's. The dear friend wore it all the time even if it did not match what she was wearing. Last year I knitted her a lovely lace scarf and I gave it to her on the condition that she stopped wearing that "yellow" thing.
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Permanent Resident

2454 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  06:13:50 AM  Show Profile  Visit celia's Homepage Send celia a Private Message
When I first got back into knitting about 2 years ago, I knitted a bright red cardigan. it was in a fluffy yarn (not quite eyelash but close enough). I knew nothing about finishing and my seaming was shocking. I learnt about gauge the hard way - this cardigan was 2 or 3 sizes too big. Since its completion, it has lived in a bag waiting to be donated to charity. for some unknown reason, I can't bring myself to part with it, no matter how ugly I think it is. It's hairy, red, big and poorly knitted. So why can't I give it away?!


My blog is here:
I am destashing here:
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Chatty Knitter

222 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  06:38:35 AM  Show Profile  Visit zissa's Homepage Send zissa a Private Message
um, yeah, I made a poncho, too. With fun fur. What was I thinking? I shudder to think that my sis-in-law may actually be wearing it!
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Seriously Hooked

849 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  06:45:46 AM  Show Profile  Visit trekcelt's Homepage Send trekcelt a Private Message
Celia, there's a great story in Knit Lit about Big Ugly: the horrible orange sweater that never died. Your red cardigan reminded me of it and made me .

My ugliest knitted article no longer exists. I made the Craft Yarn Council vest this summer - my third knitted article. I hated it. It actually was beautiful - on the table, or on the couch, or on the chair, just not on me. When on, the shoulders stood out funny and the armholes were just too bulky. I knitted it with 2 strands of worsted, as directed, and checked gauge and was spot-on - but it made no difference. The vest on me was the ugliest thing. Too bad I didn't take a digital of it before frogging the whole thing. The carnation pinks stripes in the yoke contrasted so nicely with the black. Oh, well, the yarn is getting another (actually a third) chance as my new slip stitch sweater (in progress as I type).

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

FO: 9, WIP: 2
trek's blog

"As for me and my house..."
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Chatty Knitter

137 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  07:04:16 AM  Show Profile Send Kalikat a Private Message
Years ago (actually decades ago) I had to have a granny square skirt. The skirt itself was actually OK for the time period it was made. My body had just filled out and my hips were pretty wide. Not a good look for a heavier girl. I saw the same skirts featured in a teen knitting magazine last year. They should come with a warning.
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Permanent Resident

1431 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  07:08:31 AM  Show Profile Send chellethinques a Private Message
The D&*^ Duck Sweater! Picture beginnner's stockinette - uneven, lumpy, in turquoise Wool Ease. Then add rolled edges, bad seaming, a huge-mongous neck and a really unevenly done intarsia bright yellow and white duck head snaking around from under the arm. Eeek! I saved it, but none of my kids will wear it.
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Permanent Resident

4177 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  07:22:52 AM  Show Profile Send kbshee a Private Message
I"m making felted oven mitt for Christmas, and am trying to match them to the kitchen colors of the recipients. Well, my in laws have a kitchen that needs quite a bit of updating (lots of 1960s harvest gold and bronzey colors) but I valiantly made them an oven mitt to match. In my eyes, the mix of colors and tones looks like something gakked up by one of the cats. I'm vacillating over whether I should knit them something 'pretty' but can't decide.

kim in oregon
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Permanent Resident

1543 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  08:00:02 AM  Show Profile Send jade a Private Message
My pet ugly is also a poncho, knitted out of BRIGHT eyelash and some hideous acrylic blend. It was a gift for the daughter of a close friend who absolutely loved it. I put it on and twirled in front of a mirror before sending it away. It was even worse on than on the needles - you could see it a block away flashing brilliant fuschia. There's no accounting for taste.

My personal pet hate was a crocheted afghan which I was asked to make for a charity auction. It was out of some cheap and nasty acrylic, in classic pumpkin, green and rust. I hated making it, but it raised a fair amount of money for a good cause.

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Chatty Knitter

290 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  11:31:35 AM  Show Profile Send PatriciaG a Private Message
Mine was also a crocheted afghan. It was royal blue with white trim. The first and only time I invented my own pattern. I learned the hard way to stick with a pattern and leave the creativity to the creative ones!

Patrica in West Sac., CA.

"How did I get over the hill without getting up to the top"
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Chatty Knitter

265 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  4:24:09 PM  Show Profile Send Bookworm a Private Message
The ugliest thing I have done is a poncho out of pink-purple-green and some other colors, I can't remember variegated yarn for my niece. She loves it and wore it to school every day until the school nurse took it off her and told my sister it was not appropriate for the heat.
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Permanent Resident

United Kingdom
1227 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  4:36:43 PM  Show Profile  Visit probablyjane's Homepage Send probablyjane a Private Message
Mine would have to be the white mohair jumper with lightly attached acrylic cherries complete with leaves randomly distributed all over it - I can blame Patricia Roberts and the 1980's, the decade that taste forgot, but it was me that looked like the badly iced Christmas cake.


'What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?' Elvis Costello
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Permanent Resident

6412 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  8:36:45 PM  Show Profile Send SerMom a Private Message
[nose stuck up in air]I know not of which you speak. All my knitting is positiely lovely![/nose in air].

That's my story and I'm sticknig to it! (Although I have to admit that the shawl I made my late sister might be considered for this topic, if I have to come up with something).

It's a feature, not a bug.

Fran's Site:

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Chatty Knitter

203 Posts

Posted - 08/23/2005 :  10:12:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit Manicgirl's Homepage Send Manicgirl a Private Message
I LOVE reading this thread. It seems eyelash and ponchos are a definitie no-no (but I knew that already...) I haven't had the opportunity to knit something awful yet, but I did knit awfully in the beginning...

(My blog:
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Chatty Knitter

141 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2005 :  10:44:09 AM  Show Profile Send InMySpareTime a Private Message
Kalikat: I think I have not one, but TWO, halter tops to match your granny square skirt.
1976 - acrylic granny squares fashioned into lovely halter tops for me and my sister. Mine was that rainbow colored yarn, and since it was 1976, my sister's was bicentiniel celebration red white & blue.
Scary part: my mom let us wear them; if fact, she still has them.
Scarier part: yesterday, while at an upscale children's shop, they had granny square skirts and jacket.
Scariest part: I actually thought they were kinda cute (it was the colors that made them cute!)
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Gabber Extraordinaire

352 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2005 :  1:35:39 PM  Show Profile Send ShannonM a Private Message
hmmm. I made a pullover out of Colinette point five - far too bulky and lumpy and the colorway just didn't come together the way it should have. I also made a horrible eyelash novelty scarf that I wore one time before coming to my senses.

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New Pal

30 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2005 :  2:26:57 PM  Show Profile Send Wahine a Private Message
I made this hideous sweater for my then 4 year old son. It was green, black, and white, colors he picked. It was ugly. He wanted the body to be green, with a big black stripe on the back, the front had white cables and the neck was black. The sleeves were green with black cuffs. I recenly found it again and threw it away.

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Seriously Hooked

821 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2005 :  3:08:33 PM  Show Profile Send orangina a Private Message
This takes a special talent, but I managed to create a beyond-ugly version of the ChicKami pattern (from ChicKnits). It's only one of the world's most popular and cute patterns, but I demolished it!

It was only the 2nd or 3rd thing I made, I chose a really nasty pink yarn that was a lot fuzzier than I thought it would be. Completely wrong for the pattern. What did I know? I also didn't follow the pattern instructions correctly so on strap has the seam in the front and one strap has the seam in the back! Super fugly finished product. Looked like something the dog slept on.

"Window shopping in the general sense did not interest Miss Marple, but she had a splendid time rounding up knitting patterns, new varieties of knitting wool, and suchlike delights."
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New Pal

1 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2005 :  9:09:54 PM  Show Profile Send a Private Message
A friend of mine said he wanted a Dr. Who scarf. I had never in my life seen Dr. Who, so I didn't know what it was. He said it had brown and orange stripes. I bought awful brown and orange acrylic and started knitting him a striped scarf, with very even sized stripes.

The worst part was when I realized that the ugly thing wasn't even a Dr. Who scarf at all!
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