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COgirl
Permanent Resident

USA
2176 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  1:13:29 PM  Show Profile Send COgirl a Private Message
My husband doesn't care either. If I hide receipts it's because I'm embarrassed about my addiction. He can check financial records any time he wants, but he really doesn't care.
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COgirl
Permanent Resident

USA
2176 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  1:13:29 PM  Show Profile Send COgirl a Private Message
My husband doesn't care either. If I hide receipts it's because I'm embarrassed about my addiction. He can check financial records any time he wants, but he really doesn't care.
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Momma78239
Permanent Resident

USA
4859 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  2:55:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit Momma78239's Homepage  Send Momma78239 a Yahoo! Message Send Momma78239 a Private Message
I agree that openness and honesty are the best way to go, but there are some people whose spouses are so controlling that they can't buy a thing, and the only way to have any spending money is to sneak it.

It reminds me of the reason for this thread in the first place. We think it's funny that this woman was so abusive to her husband, but if it were the other way around, and the husband was acting in that manner to his wife, we'd all be incensed.

-WendyM
And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. Exodus 35:25
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Momma78239
Permanent Resident

USA
4859 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  2:55:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit Momma78239's Homepage  Send Momma78239 a Yahoo! Message Send Momma78239 a Private Message
I agree that openness and honesty are the best way to go, but there are some people whose spouses are so controlling that they can't buy a thing, and the only way to have any spending money is to sneak it.

It reminds me of the reason for this thread in the first place. We think it's funny that this woman was so abusive to her husband, but if it were the other way around, and the husband was acting in that manner to his wife, we'd all be incensed.

-WendyM
And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. Exodus 35:25
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KAC
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
443 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  3:12:46 PM  Show Profile Send KAC a Private Message
For every 6-pack my DH buys, I get to buy a skein of yarn. I had to change it to 12 pack, though, or we wouldn't have any place to sleep! He feeds his addiction, and I feed mine (and I now have 7 huge tubs of yarn, and not enough lifetime to knit it all!).

Seriously, though - I joke about it, but that did originally start out to be the "deal" in our house. As little respect as I have for my husband's drinking, I still respect him enough to be honest with him about purchases that I make. I wouldn't steal from him, and he wouldn't steal from me. I don't like some of the things that he does, but I still respect him enough to be honest with him.


Kim
http://sanityknit.blogspot.com/
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints
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KAC
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
443 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  3:12:46 PM  Show Profile Send KAC a Private Message
For every 6-pack my DH buys, I get to buy a skein of yarn. I had to change it to 12 pack, though, or we wouldn't have any place to sleep! He feeds his addiction, and I feed mine (and I now have 7 huge tubs of yarn, and not enough lifetime to knit it all!).

Seriously, though - I joke about it, but that did originally start out to be the "deal" in our house. As little respect as I have for my husband's drinking, I still respect him enough to be honest with him about purchases that I make. I wouldn't steal from him, and he wouldn't steal from me. I don't like some of the things that he does, but I still respect him enough to be honest with him.


Kim
http://sanityknit.blogspot.com/
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints
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RoseByAny
Permanent Resident

USA
12598 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  4:12:32 PM  Show Profile  Visit RoseByAny's Homepage Send RoseByAny a Private Message
I don't think it's funny that she acted that way. I am incensed that she would treat him like that, equally so if he were to treat her like that.

It seems to me if someone had a spouse (of either gender) so controlling they couldn't buy yarn, couples therapy might be a better fix than hidden credit cards and dishonest spending.

"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable."
http://RoseByAny.BlogSpot.Com
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RoseByAny
Permanent Resident

USA
12598 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2005 :  4:12:32 PM  Show Profile  Visit RoseByAny's Homepage Send RoseByAny a Private Message
I don't think it's funny that she acted that way. I am incensed that she would treat him like that, equally so if he were to treat her like that.

It seems to me if someone had a spouse (of either gender) so controlling they couldn't buy yarn, couples therapy might be a better fix than hidden credit cards and dishonest spending.

"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable."
http://RoseByAny.BlogSpot.Com
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westcoastchica
Seriously Hooked

Canada
788 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2005 :  1:29:58 PM  Show Profile Send westcoastchica a Private Message
Man oh man, am I ever grateful that my SO and I have our finances COMPLETELY separate. He takes care of the bills, I take care of the groceries, and at the end of every month, we split the rent and work out the difference for the other things. Granted, this only works because we're both working, but still. I like separation. No joint accounts, no joint credit cards. And we plan to keep it that way, except for maybe a joint savings account down the line for larger purchases like a house or a family vacation.) Which means I can buy all the freakin' yarn (or anything else) I want and he only gets to complain about how much space it takes up (legitimate complaint... it spills out from under the bed and then he trips on it!). If I felt like I had to hide my purchases from him or be dishonest about my spending, really, that would be a sign that I need to get out of the relationship.

I like the idea of buying one skein of yarn for every 6-pack my boyfriend consumes... although I'd probably bankrupt myself pretty quickly!!!! Either that or he'd stop drinking beer in order to keep the stash from taking over the *entire* living room.. hey... that's a great idea...

http://sapphyreknits.blogspot.com/
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westcoastchica
Seriously Hooked

Canada
788 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2005 :  1:29:58 PM  Show Profile Send westcoastchica a Private Message
Man oh man, am I ever grateful that my SO and I have our finances COMPLETELY separate. He takes care of the bills, I take care of the groceries, and at the end of every month, we split the rent and work out the difference for the other things. Granted, this only works because we're both working, but still. I like separation. No joint accounts, no joint credit cards. And we plan to keep it that way, except for maybe a joint savings account down the line for larger purchases like a house or a family vacation.) Which means I can buy all the freakin' yarn (or anything else) I want and he only gets to complain about how much space it takes up (legitimate complaint... it spills out from under the bed and then he trips on it!). If I felt like I had to hide my purchases from him or be dishonest about my spending, really, that would be a sign that I need to get out of the relationship.

I like the idea of buying one skein of yarn for every 6-pack my boyfriend consumes... although I'd probably bankrupt myself pretty quickly!!!! Either that or he'd stop drinking beer in order to keep the stash from taking over the *entire* living room.. hey... that's a great idea...

http://sapphyreknits.blogspot.com/
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KellyKnits
Permanent Resident

USA
1608 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2005 :  1:45:44 PM  Show Profile  Visit KellyKnits's Homepage Send KellyKnits a Private Message
someone should suggest to the man to buy a very sharp set of needles in case she gets out of control : )

Kelly
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KellyKnits
Permanent Resident

USA
1608 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2005 :  1:45:44 PM  Show Profile  Visit KellyKnits's Homepage Send KellyKnits a Private Message
someone should suggest to the man to buy a very sharp set of needles in case she gets out of control : )

Kelly
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iluvdeftones
Chatty Knitter

USA
116 Posts

Posted - 10/21/2005 :  10:44:43 AM  Show Profile Send iluvdeftones a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by KellyKnits

someone should suggest to the man to buy a very sharp set of needles in case she gets out of control : )

Kelly


[:00]I like that!

That's so wrong that his family thinks that knitting makes him a "fag." I know a lot of guys who do "girly" things and that doesn't make them "fags." One guy I know likes to paint his fingernails (of course he usually paints them black). My boyfriend has said that he would like to learn to knit someday, but I'm a horrible teacher.

I also know a lot of homosexuals who don't do "girly" things. When you first met them, you would never know that they are gay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a man wanting to learn how to knit.

Maybe that guy's wife thinks that the knitting will take all of his attention off of her. How dare she!

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
-Lewis Carroll
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Barry1948
New Pal

USA
34 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  06:20:12 AM  Show Profile Send Barry1948 a Private Message
My wife has no problem with my knitting. She thinks it great. She doesn't knit, but she crochets. We do share our stashes when needed. It doesn't happen often though. Her colors are not mine. LOL. She's likes pastels and I like darker colors. As for that guy's wife, if she was mine it wouldn't have been for long. If I can't be myself around a woman then I don't want her a permanent part of my life.
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Barry1948
New Pal

USA
34 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  06:20:12 AM  Show Profile Send Barry1948 a Private Message
My wife has no problem with my knitting. She thinks it great. She doesn't knit, but she crochets. We do share our stashes when needed. It doesn't happen often though. Her colors are not mine. LOL. She's likes pastels and I like darker colors. As for that guy's wife, if she was mine it wouldn't have been for long. If I can't be myself around a woman then I don't want her a permanent part of my life.
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Sang
Chatty Knitter

196 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  10:59:31 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sang's Homepage  Send Sang a Yahoo! Message Send Sang a Private Message
This has been the most fascinating thread.

Sang.
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Sang
Chatty Knitter

196 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  10:59:31 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sang's Homepage  Send Sang a Yahoo! Message Send Sang a Private Message
This has been the most fascinating thread.

Sang.
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highdesertrose
Gabber Extraordinaire

Malta
544 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  2:45:54 PM  Show Profile Send highdesertrose a Private Message
Sounds like the wife has some serious insecurity issues (among obvious others)

Keep us updated if they show up again! I hope he continues, in spite of the lack of support.
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highdesertrose
Gabber Extraordinaire

Malta
544 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2005 :  2:45:54 PM  Show Profile Send highdesertrose a Private Message
Sounds like the wife has some serious insecurity issues (among obvious others)

Keep us updated if they show up again! I hope he continues, in spite of the lack of support.
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KL
Permanent Resident

6041 Posts

Posted - 10/23/2005 :  07:01:44 AM  Show Profile Send KL a Private Message
HighdesertRose- The father has been in twice now with both daughters in tow-sans wifey. They came in for help after practicing casting on for about a week. The three of them have formed their "knitting club" and spend their evenings knitting together. They apparently had asked Mom to join, but, she stated that she was much too busy. Dad said that she had much time on her hands and they really didn't mind that she hadn't joined them as they were really enjoying knitting together.
Dad needed help with stitches an his 50-stitch cast on scarf! I had to do some explaing to him as to why I didn't think that a 50 stitch scarf would turn out to his satisfaction.
I don't mind them coming in for help much more often than other customers for free advice as their eagerness to learn far out-weighs any time that we have to spend with them to get them going.
what I noticed was how much laughing they did together when Mom wasn't there- Laughing was not in the program when she was in attendance. It will be a pleasure to continue to help them on their new hobby. KL
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