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Ditzy Girl
Permanent Resident

USA
4723 Posts

Posted - 10/23/2005 :  08:46:53 AM  Show Profile Send Ditzy Girl a Private Message
It's nice they have found a hobby all 3 can enjoy together.

Zola, Seattle, Wash.

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PollyS
Warming Up

USA
86 Posts

Posted - 10/24/2005 :  07:25:33 AM  Show Profile Send PollyS a Private Message
How sad! The mother is missing out on spending wonderful, fun time with her family. Kids grow up so fast. Since the flood in NO, I have been home about 4 days in the last 2 months and have come to realize that work, etc. will always be there but our children's lives pass so quickly. The father and daughters are lucky to have this to share ...I still remember my grandmother teaching me to crochet @ 7.

"New Orleans, Proud to call it home."
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spindyerella
Seriously Hooked

601 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2005 :  11:36:43 AM  Show Profile Send spindyerella a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by RoseByAny

It seems to me if someone had a spouse (of either gender) so controlling they couldn't buy yarn, couples therapy might be a better fix than hidden credit cards and dishonest spending.


I completely agree. Dishonesty in any form spells the beginning of the end of a relationship as far as I'm concerned. Hiding money, "stealing" a 20, none of this is funny.
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achrisvet
Permanent Resident

USA
5986 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2005 :  12:25:14 PM  Show Profile Send achrisvet a Private Message
Oh I love the picture of Dad and daughters knitting together! Those girls will remember that the rest of their lives. Thanks for telling us about that.

Anita
My completed projects

and here

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achrisvet
Permanent Resident

USA
5986 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2005 :  12:25:14 PM  Show Profile Send achrisvet a Private Message
Oh I love the picture of Dad and daughters knitting together! Those girls will remember that the rest of their lives. Thanks for telling us about that.

Anita
My completed projects

and here

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fxd02
New Pal

USA
48 Posts

Posted - 01/08/2006 :  10:50:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit fxd02's Homepage Send fxd02 a Private Message
She was jealous and mad that she didn't think of it first. Now, she will have to find her own hobby.



-Beautify America, get a tattoo

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queenmaxine
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
472 Posts

Posted - 01/09/2006 :  07:22:16 AM  Show Profile  Visit queenmaxine's Homepage Send queenmaxine a Private Message
I was wondering if maybe the hub didn't or couldn't drive and she was resentful of having to chauffer...

My blog is not strictly knitting, but there are occasional WIP updates and frustration or bragging rants as I am a new knitter.

www.nolanoni.blogspot.com
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kdcrowley
Permanent Resident

USA
4773 Posts

Posted - 01/09/2006 :  11:11:37 AM  Show Profile  Visit kdcrowley's Homepage Send kdcrowley a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by mokey

quote:
Originally posted by KL

Why the itching?


I'm itching because I think it disgusting to keep financial secrets from a spouse. It is stealing from one's spouse and creating a hornet's nest of mistrust and deceit.

Secret credit cards? Have you any idea of the hell this will cause when you die? It's time to grow up and treat finances in an open and adult manner and stop sneaking cash like cookies from the cookie jar.

"An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Martin Luther King Jr.
www.femiknits.blog-city.com



Mokey, there is a difference between deciet and keeping separate finances or accounts, in addition to the jo8int finances.

Every woman should have her own account, so that she had control over some money. I just bet that many of the folks who have fully joint accounts, that many of the men have their own accounts, and so should the women.

At the least, she should have spending money....at the most, money to live on for awhile if something happens to him.

I also believe in diversification of finances, multiple institutions etc. And one should never have more than 100K at one institution, as the amount over 100K will not be covered by FDIC.

Anyway, my advice to everyone here, including the men, is that if you don't have accounts in your own name, run out and get them.....both bank and credit cards....the bank acct will give you independence, the credit card will give you your own credit rating....all good things to be sure!

It just makes good sense....

Kelley

Going to He** for buying sock yarn during Lent, but at least my feet won't be cold.
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 01/09/2006 :  11:29:54 AM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message
Kelley, I'm with you there. Of course every adult, married, single or other should have single accounts. My problem is when those are kept secret.

When I worked for big finance I was shocked at how many married women only had joint accounts.

"An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Martin Luther King Jr.
www.femiknits.blog-city.com
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donnawatk
Seriously Hooked

755 Posts

Posted - 01/10/2006 :  06:19:20 AM  Show Profile Send donnawatk a Private Message
HE may be like me when I'm knitting I don't hear anything.That includes kids, and husband. I block the world out and I have the lower blood pressure to prove it.Donna
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truly violet
Permanent Resident

6398 Posts

Posted - 01/10/2006 :  06:35:37 AM  Show Profile  Visit truly violet's Homepage Send truly violet a Private Message
if one spouce dies the joint accounts can be frozen....
what do you live on then until you get that worked out?

my folks always had seperate accounts
they split who paid what bill
they had a cash 'house kitty' both put money in there
but when mom died......dad still had access to money while mom's estate went through probate.

so the bills were paid and dad had everything he needed
food etc.

vi



none of this will matter in 100 years.......
except I will finally be at my goal weight...vi
http://notashyviolet.blogspot.com/ ~now with chickens!
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petitemorte
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
423 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2006 :  7:12:23 PM  Show Profile Send petitemorte a Private Message
Firstly I feel awful for that womans family. I'm sure anyone who would belittle, embarress and disrespect her family like that in public had got to be 100 times worse at home!!
And for the other part of this, as I am with my husband all the time and as I dont work I dont have any private money. But if I ever want any yarn all I have to do is give him the ole puppy dog eyes. He buys and I knit, but I am building up a tremendous stash in the truck.

Di,the cross country knitter

life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2006 :  9:11:32 PM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by truly violet

if one spouce dies the joint accounts can be frozen....
what do you live on then until you get that worked out?


I guess our property/estate laws are different. In case of death, joint account automatically goes to survivor with proof of death.

Again today I read more real life accounts of women who had nothing ebcause everything was in joint accounts.

Nothing wrong with joint qaccount but have things in your own name to avoid huge problems.

"An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Martin Luther King Jr.
www.femiknits.blog-city.com
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Mom 2-4
Chatty Knitter

USA
183 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  06:08:47 AM  Show Profile Send Mom 2-4 a Private Message
I have a totally different view - I think he wants the knitting needles to stab her where her cold black heart is!! Don't you need a wooden stake for vampires - just a thought!![:00]

Connie
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Mom 2-4
Chatty Knitter

USA
183 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  06:16:08 AM  Show Profile Send Mom 2-4 a Private Message
I have a totally different view - I think he wants the knitting needles to stab her where her cold black heart is!! Don't you need a wooden stake for vampires - just a thought!![:00]

Connie
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Mom 2-4
Chatty Knitter

USA
183 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  06:16:08 AM  Show Profile Send Mom 2-4 a Private Message
I have a totally different view - I think he wants the knitting needles to stab her where her cold black heart is!! Don't you need a wooden stake for vampires - just a thought!![:00]

Connie
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gulf knitter
Seriously Hooked

USA
737 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  11:20:17 AM  Show Profile  Visit gulf knitter's Homepage Send gulf knitter a Private Message
When we were first married, I was secretive about my yarn habit. But I soon learned that it was fun to show my husband my yarn and tell him what I thought about it, but more importantly, that if I was ashamed to tell him what I spent, then it meant that deep down I disapproved of the expenditure. But then my husband is not a control freak. Sarah.
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achrisvet
Permanent Resident

USA
5986 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  3:21:49 PM  Show Profile Send achrisvet a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by truly violet

if one spouce dies the joint accounts can be frozen....
what do you live on then until you get that worked out?

...

vi



none of this will matter in 100 years.......
except I will finally be at my goal weight...vi
http://notashyviolet.blogspot.com/ ~now with chickens!




Actually, Vi, unless the account requires 2 signatures, that is not correct. Now the money in the deceased spouses separate account might be frozen, but nto the money in the joint account.

Anita
My completed projects

and here

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Rho
Permanent Resident

1570 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2006 :  6:32:16 PM  Show Profile  Visit Rho's Homepage Send Rho a Private Message
This goes back a few years (30 YIKES)but when my Mom died joint accounts were frozen and my Dad and I lived off of what I was making at the bank I was working in at the time until things were done. So at that time it was true.

rho
http://rhosknittingwoes.blogspot.com/

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beh2g
Chatty Knitter

USA
244 Posts

Posted - 01/19/2006 :  08:45:46 AM  Show Profile  Visit beh2g's Homepage Send beh2g a Private Message
When I opened my savings/checking in the town I moved to, the banker asked if I wanted to join accounts with my boyfriend (who also banks there, and we live together). I said no, and she said "Whew! I've seen too many devastated people (men and women) at my desk because they joined accounts." She then told me that one partner can completely clean out the account, and though you can go to claims court and get it back, the bank can do nothing since they are within their rights to withdraw it. Eek! Imagine several years of savings... gone...! Needless to say, even when/if we get married, we'll maintain separate accounts. Even our joint savings requires both signatures to be used, so that at least reduces the chance of a problem.

Of course, you have to hope the person you are with would never do something so foul, but the fact is, if things fall apart people can really change. I think we've all seen that. :
As for that woman, I hope she gets some peace and is able to share that peace with her family. I cannot imagine the pain of going through life so angry and unhappy. [:((]
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