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Cozy
Chatty Knitter

USA
273 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  3:18:03 PM  Show Profile  Visit Cozy's Homepage Send Cozy a Private Message
I'm knitting Christmas gifts this year; small things like socks, scarves, etc. except for shawls for a few older relatives. Anyway, one of my younger family members visited recently and made some unappreciative comments about knitting, so that I'm considering not knitting for her at all. I'll just give her a mall gift. For me, it's not the money, it's the time I put into it because I feel my time is very valuable. If I don't feel my time was appreciated, I don't feel like wasting it.

Are there people (family, friends, etc.) who you won't knit for? Why?

Knitting addict since November '03

http://cozyknits.blogspot.com/

pjkite
Permanent Resident

1198 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  3:26:49 PM  Show Profile  Visit pjkite's Homepage  Send pjkite a Yahoo! Message Send pjkite a Private Message
I won't knit for my sister in law or brother, cause they won't take care of it. They know what goes into it, appreciate the time and effort, but ruin it the first time they clean it. So I don't do it anymore.

I won't knit for my brother in law, either - he has absolutely no appreciation of the skill, time, or thought that went into the item. I'll do things for his wife, though - she DOES understand and appreciate.

I always make my mother and mother-in-law's gifts, and it's become a tradition over the past couple of decades. They love what I do, take care of it, show it off proudly, and brag on how talented I am to all and sundry. Ditto my husband, daughter and sons.

I'm still figuring out my new son-in-law. This year we bought him a bottle of good single-malt Scotch. I'm debating making him a sweater vest for 2006, but haven't made up my mind yet.

Pamela Kite
East Tennessee
http://fiberlife.blogspot.com/

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Andy
Seriously Hooked

USA
774 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  4:49:51 PM  Show Profile Send Andy a Private Message
I had almost given up on my mom after years of ruining/throwing out knitting I did. But I made her a handspun scarf & socks for her birthday a few weeks ago and she is so delighted with them and enjoying the comforting that I totally changed my mind about knitting for her! Go figure!

Andy-wommon
http://shuvani11.livejournal.com/
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LuvYarn
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
424 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  5:32:09 PM  Show Profile Send LuvYarn a Private Message
Most of my in-laws except the children. The things I have made are not worn , they will request something else, or want it in a different color after we discussed colors before I started.
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celia
Permanent Resident

Australia
2454 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:05:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit celia's Homepage Send celia a Private Message
certainly! these are the same people who have commented (more than once) that i can 'save' on gifts by making them. uhm.. yeah right - no knitted gifts for you!

Read my blog, or buy my handdyed yarn and handmade stitchmarkers. Also destashing here.
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jamesedwinsneed
Chatty Knitter

USA
191 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:12:41 PM  Show Profile Send jamesedwinsneed a Private Message
I won't knit for my older brother and his wife. They are nice folks, don't get me wrong, but I knit both of them complicated and luxurious fiber socks the Christmas before last, and it was August (when they came down for a brief visit) that they happened to mention that they liked (LIKED???) the socks. This year they got a fruit basket....

I may not knit for my mom again. This past year I made two nice shawl/scarves and entered them (at her urging) into the State Fair competition. She told me that she really liked one of them (a Debbie Bliss Cotton cashmerino 'Faina's Shawl' from Fibertrends in a dark lavender). The other one I entered was one she hardly looked twice at (a version of Interweave magazine's "Madli's Shawl" in a lace weight Jaegger pale lavender). Wellll,...both won blue ribbons in their categories, but the "Madli's" won the grand prize knitting award. When I told my mom, she was happy for me, but couldn't believe her favorite didn't win.
Okay, I love my mom (we don't have an 'easy love' relationship...long story), so I'm thinking the PERFECT Christmas gift for her would be to wrap her favorite scarf up in a box and put it under the tree. I couldn't wait to see her face when she opened it and realised I wanted her to have it.
She opened the box and seemed very pleased that I gave it to her, then she said "I wish I'd told you I liked the other one best, since it won a bigger prize".
We learn alot from our mothers. Generally over the years I've learned about what I'd never say to my child (I'm 48...but still, apparently, have no feelings).
You can see 'Madli' laid out on the dinning table in a few of our pictures:
http://photobucket.com/albums/e227/jamesedwinsneed/
I've started a new 'Faina' for (Me, me, me) in a pale blue Filatura Di Crosa 'Luxury' silk.
Gayle
quote:
"If, of thy mortal goods, thou art bereft, and from thy slender store two loaves alone to thee are left,
Sell one and from the dole, buy hyacinths to feed the soul"
M. Sadi
13th century Persian poet
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Lea 1952
New Pal

USA
39 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:17:23 PM  Show Profile Send Lea 1952 a Private Message
I won't knit for people who ask how much it would cost if they bought the yarn for me. I don't know...something about that creeps me out. I knit for all kind of people...but I don't like to do command performances. Pretty silly. I get nervous. It starts feeling like no fun.
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kimkrafty
Permanent Resident

USA
2145 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:19:09 PM  Show Profile  Visit kimkrafty's Homepage Send kimkrafty a Private Message
I would say the list of people for whom I will not knit is extensive.

I knit for my own enjoyment. Therefore, I like to make my own deadlines. If I decided to give someone something I made, and the person was not grateful, or at least polite, I think that would take some of the pleasure of knitting away from me.

I knit for charity, I knit for my mom, I knit for my hubby, and my son. I'd probably be willing to knit for my godchildren but that's about it.

I don't want to turn my knitting into something scheduled and moderated. I knit on my terms.

Kimberly, knitting in VA
http://kimberlyskorner.blogspot.com
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eclair
Chatty Knitter

New Zealand
320 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:30:09 PM  Show Profile  Visit eclair's Homepage Send eclair a Private Message
I don't knit for either of my sisters in law- one destroys everything when she washes it, puts it through the washing machine with the jeans and then hangs it CROSSWAYS on the line to dry - yes, with the line going from neck to hem and sleeves hanging down either side and str..eeet...ccch..ing. I've tried giving her written instructions and even showing her how easy it is to handwash but she doesn't separate the delicate stuff from the chuck-it-in-and-boil stuff.

My other sister in law has never said 'Thank you' or 'How nice' for the sweaters I knit her first child. Not even when unwrapping them in front of me. Then when she had her second child she complained about how hard it was to find plain white cardigans for little girls and asked me to knit one for her. I was delighted until she explained that she'd asked in the local yarn shop how much it would cost to have one knitted up and they told her the cost of the yarn plus 20 pounds sterling. She was appalled at this and thought they were charging far too much. I pointed out that she would pay four times that in a boutique for a 'handknit' garment. She agreed but said she wouldn't pay that for a HOMEMADE one. Unsurprisingly, I found I didn't have the time to save her 20 pounds and never knitted it.

She only ever asked once more- I told her it was about 15 hours work for the pattern she wanted. Then I told her how much I charged per hour- as a Managing Director/ Computer Consultant and let her do the maths. That shut her up!

Eclair
whose Handknits ARE Homemade and all the more valuable for it!
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blazfglori
Permanent Resident

USA
1333 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:33:35 PM  Show Profile Send blazfglori a Private Message
I won't knit for anyone who says "You can knit me one of those (insert item here) when you're done." GRRRR!

~Lori

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Wen
Permanent Resident

Australia
3244 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:46:52 PM  Show Profile  Visit Wen's Homepage Send Wen a Private Message
I always take that comment as a joke whether it is intended as one or not. 2 reasons - they realise that what they said is so ridiculous it won't be taken seriously and also it means I don't get upset when I hear it.

I generally only knit for close family. Mainly because I take too long to finish anything.


Wen

2006 stats: 1 FO, too many WIP, 0 frogpond.
http://photos.yahoo.com/whdayus
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careynev
Chatty Knitter

USA
307 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  6:54:33 PM  Show Profile Send careynev a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by jamesedwinsneed



You can see 'Madli' laid out on the dinning table in a few of our pictures:
http://photobucket.com/albums/e227/jamesedwinsneed/



I just looked at the photos, and couldn't go on without commenting on your gorgeous critters--I love those critters-on-stairs shots! (Oh, and the scarf is beautiful! )

http://nerdyknitter.blogspot.com

Judy, the Nerdy Knitter
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careynev
Chatty Knitter

USA
307 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  7:00:54 PM  Show Profile Send careynev a Private Message
But to answer the original question: I won't knit for pushy people who say "How do I get on your list?" (aka my step-mother-in-law). But then, I have to admit, I've broken my own rule, and knit something small (a felted bag) for the same woman, and lectured her on how it had to be a big secret because I hadn't knit for anyone else in the family, etc. This was a major good tactic because she reveled in knowing that SHE was the only one with a hand-knit gift that year.

My sister-in-law is very appreciative of the things I make her sons, but she's not very good with doing laundry. She has asked me how to care for the things I've made, but then says she'll just have them dry-cleaned to be safe. So, I don't feel to bad about making things for the boys.

Other than that, I'm actually usually stuck for people TO make things for since I have relatives in a hot climate (Florida), and relatives who don't wear hats, mittens, scarves (even though they live in upstate NY, for pete's sake), and relatives who knit already (my mom), and people who say they don't need anything else, that they have plenty of knitted things (my husband). I have yet to make things for charity, but I think that's where I'm probably headed.

http://nerdyknitter.blogspot.com

Judy, the Nerdy Knitter
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nwilson02
Chatty Knitter

USA
214 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  7:32:37 PM  Show Profile Send nwilson02 a Private Message
I am extremely blessed because I have family members and friends who love and, yes, even ask for me to knit them something. I have one niece in particular who thinks I'm the best knitter she's ever seen and thinks her old Aunt is so talented. Now this coming from a 15 year old is pretty special. I do make it a habit to knit items for my younger family members that can't be ruined by the way they treat them and take care of them. I'd never knit my young nieces anything using a really good wool yarn, acrylic is fine for them. So far I've never knitted anything for a gift that hasn't been appreciated and used (or at least that's what they say).

Nancy
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jamesedwinsneed
Chatty Knitter

USA
191 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  7:35:15 PM  Show Profile Send jamesedwinsneed a Private Message
Thanks for your comments on my daughters, Judy. THEY generally appreciate knitted items (especially still on the needle).
We are, sadly, still mourning the loss of my youngest daughter, Altoid (on top step), who passed away as a result of a genetic (oci-cats have more than their fair share)heart enlargement. She was especially attached to a sheep skin someone had sent our sons when they were babes. She would stand over the skin and knead (like a kitten looking to nurse a breast)at it.
I would knit anything for her!!
Gayle
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booglass
Permanent Resident

Costa Rica
1987 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  8:25:00 PM  Show Profile  Visit booglass's Homepage Send booglass a Private Message
My sister-in-law or actually my brother-in-law's wife. Her grandmother and sister knit, so she knows the value of handknit goodies. But of all the things I knit for my niece she never once said thank you OR even acknowledged the gift. And when my niece was born we gave my BIL a uber expensive bottle of Irish whiskey, like over $100 expensive, and nothing. Just thinking about it makes me grumpy!

bonnie

Check out my blog:
Tropical Knits
http://www.booglass.typepad.com
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jamesedwinsneed
Chatty Knitter

USA
191 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  8:41:17 PM  Show Profile Send jamesedwinsneed a Private Message
You know you DO it because you love them and you pour it out through those needles and you THINK they'll understand and feel what you want them to know
...then you're mad because they don't....
...me too.
Gayle
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autumns daughter
Chatty Knitter

267 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  9:28:06 PM  Show Profile  Visit autumns daughter's Homepage Send autumns daughter a Private Message
Oh, its so hard to seperate myself from my knitting. I identified with the "Ravelings" essay in the back of the Spring 06 IK- about being too personal in knitting. I definitely do that! I have been blessed- most of the things that I've knit for people have been used. It gives me such a rush when I see a scarf that I knit around somebody's neck- its like giving them a hug through the wool!
So I do try to choose carefully who will appreciate what I knit, so I don't feel hurt that a handknit goes unused.


autumn's daughter
bloggy blog:
http://autumnsdaughter.blogspot.com/
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Knitrageous
Permanent Resident

USA
1445 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2006 :  9:51:03 PM  Show Profile  Visit Knitrageous's Homepage Send Knitrageous a Private Message
My mom never uses anything I've made her. She packs it up and drags it out to show people. I'd rather she used it. My mother in law has asked. But I don't really want to do something for her. Basically I guess if the spirit moves me I'll knit for you. If it doesn't...too bad for you!

~~~~Jamye

I don't have a problem with authority, I just have a problem with people telling me what to do.
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lizknit
Permanent Resident

USA
1179 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2006 :  01:02:57 AM  Show Profile Send lizknit a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Knitrageous

My mom never uses anything I've made her. She packs it up and drags it out to show people. I'd rather she used it.


Maybe we're sisters? My mother has literally dozens of sweaters that I've knit for her, some of which she's asked for but rarely wears. She's "saving" them, for what I don't know. I know she appreciates them because she's a knitter herself and taught me to knit eons ago. For her birthday this month I sent her a pair of felted clogs and apparently, she's never taken them off. I'm so delighted that I finally hit on something that she'll wear that I'm planning to send her some more.

The cat, the only self-cleaning appliance in the house
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lella
Permanent Resident

9712 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2006 :  01:54:34 AM  Show Profile Send lella a Private Message
I'll knit for people who love me and who ask me to make them something. I'll knit for people who just like me and ask me, this especially applies to children. I will never again knit for someone who has never shown me much kindness because I'm through trying to earn my way into someone's heart with kindness other than the regular emotional kind. You know that kind of kindness. Loving kindness in the form of tolerance that doesn't involve watching a gift of love be trashed. eh?

lella[img]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/^/9971/omelet.gif[/img]

http://zippiknits.blogspot.com
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