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momrnc
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
443 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  08:12:16 AM  Show Profile Send momrnc a Private Message
I think I've found my "special talent" to contribute to this forum. I'm not very experienced so, although I've enjoyed reading all the topics on yarns, needles, and techniques, I really didn't have anything to contribute. I know that's not the point, but doesn't everyone want to feel "needed"?

So here it is: I've read so many posts from knitters who love to buy yarn (so what), love to look at yarn (so what); have several WIP's (so what); who put down a sweater years ago and never finished it (so what), etc. I don't mean to trivialize (sp?) anyone's concerns--they are posted to gain support--but I want to support everyone to not feel guilty about how you individually manage your hobby. We do this for fun and stress relief, and as long as our passion is not causing any harm to anyone, what's the harm?

Am I making sense?

Kathy
Champion of Guilt Free Knitters

Susan T-O
Permanent Resident

USA
2481 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  08:19:24 AM  Show Profile  Visit Susan T-O's Homepage Send Susan T-O a Private Message
But it's so HARD not to feel guilty when you've got $300 worth of less-than-a-month-old stash, and you go out and buy another $250 dollars worth!!! Especially if you know that you have more than you can use in a whole year. . . That being said, it's nice to know you're on "my side" for buying this stuff. It DOES bring me pleasure to have it & look at it & know that it's there when I find the right project for it.

--Susan T-O

I'm only smiling because you have all finally driven me insane
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vicky by the bay
Permanent Resident

USA
4768 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  08:39:08 AM  Show Profile Send vicky by the bay a Private Message
I wanna join your club! I refuse to feel guilty....esp. when I am not hurting anyone at all. I love to look and order yarn...it's awfully relaxing for me. So I will join....maybe I'm a yarnaholic, but I am not hurting anyone w/ my addiction...and as addictions go...I believe it's a really good one!

Vicky (Queen O'Yarn archivist-QYA)
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klfrazier
Permanent Resident

1745 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  09:21:47 AM  Show Profile  Visit klfrazier's Homepage Send klfrazier a Private Message
AMEN! I'm officially letting go of guilt right now.

Kristin

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harvling
New Pal

38 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  09:29:26 AM  Show Profile Send harvling a Private Message
Yay!! Kathy, you're my hero!! I don't have a very big stash, and I try to have a project in mind when I buy a bit. Still, I agree with you completely!! As long as the children are fed and clothed, I refuse to feel guilty about maintaining something just for me!

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draymer
Permanent Resident

USA
1492 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  09:58:50 AM  Show Profile Send draymer a Private Message
"I want to support everyone to not feel guilty about how you individually manage your hobby. We do this for fun and stress relief, and as long as our passion is not causing any harm to anyone, what's the harm?
Am I making sense?"

Oh, Kathy, this is the most sensible post I have read in a long time.
So long, river of denial.
Debra



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Ditzy Girl
Permanent Resident

USA
4723 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  10:30:44 AM  Show Profile Send Ditzy Girl a Private Message
On the other hand I spent $72 yesterday on yarn and Sally M book to get pattern for Einstein Coat. Then I went down to local 2nd hand book store to take in and take out some books and low and behold what was in the window, but the outdoor picket fence with bird houses on it bench I have been wanting for my side yard. I ask if it was for sale and by golly it was, but I had spent my money on yarn so I told her I was broke, but put a for sold sign on and I would pickup next payday. Then I went to the local furniture chair about a new chair to knit in. I found a couple, but explained I had a bad back and would it be o.k. if I brought my knitting and a book down so I could try out the chair for a hr or so to make sure it would work. They said o.k., so now the knitting is getting more and more expensive all the time. Of course the bench has nothing to do with knitting, I just want it for the side yard. I have to go and finish my 8x8 square now so I can put in mail.

Zola
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thevalkyry
Sustaining Member

USA
736 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  10:41:36 AM  Show Profile Send thevalkyry a Private Message
no guilt here ... and my family is so mystified by the whole process that all I get is the praise that what I am doing is just gorgeous. I eat it up!! And it keeps me coming back for more ;)

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Jane
SustaYning Member

USA
4395 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  10:54:45 AM  Show Profile  Visit Jane's Homepage Send Jane a Private Message
I agree -- no guilt for me! I get too much pleasure/therapy/creative satisfaction to ever feel that what I spend on knitting is wrong. I have just enough yarn, almost enough time, and a warm, happy, satisfied feeling from my head to my toes!

Jane
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Rae
Chatty Knitter

131 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  12:28:26 PM  Show Profile Send Rae a Private Message
A club I can join! I don't get to buy much yarn, as we just bought our first house in May (We love it!). I'm also starting graduate school (psych) tomorrow, so I'll have only a little time. But my philosophy has been: Bills first, some saving, and then yarn (My husband's has the same philosophy except his third item is computer). I don't worry about buying expensive yarn if that's what I like becuase I know I'm only spending what I can afford. If I can't afford it, I think of a smaller project, if I really want to work with a specific yarn, or I wait and save up.

I also don't feel guilty when I do buy yarn because of all the enjoyment I get from it, even if I'm just looking at it. In fact, I have a single ball of Lorna's Laces sock yarn in Iris Garden that sits on my desk becuase it's not enough to make a pair of socks with. -My lys when I was in Dallas, bought some for the first time on a wed, I got there fri morning and that's all they had left .

My family that was here visiting a couple weeks ago laughed my socks I was knitting becuase they couldn't believe I paid thirty dollars for the yarn. - They're my first knitting with Koigu and I love it! They were impressed with the cuff of the first one I had done before they left.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I totally agree. Yarn collecting (although limited right now) and knitting are my hobbies, they don't take necessary money from our budget, and so I feel no need to make excuses.

Rae
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Lindsey-Brooke
Chatty Knitter

223 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  1:09:39 PM  Show Profile Send Lindsey-Brooke a Private Message
What's that saying about not wanting to join a club that would have me as a member? But, this club has ME written all over it! No guilt here---knitting is my passion....including all of that stash yarn that's screaming, Me next! Me next!

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KathyR
Permanent Resident

New Zealand
2969 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  2:17:17 PM  Show Profile  Visit KathyR's Homepage Send KathyR a Private Message
quote:
In fact, I have a single ball of Lorna's Laces sock yarn in Iris Garden that sits on my desk becuase it's not enough to make a pair of socks with. -My lys when I was in Dallas, bought some for the first time on a wed, I got there fri morning and that's all they had left .


Rae, if you don't have enough for a pair of socks, and would really like to use it, why don't you find something that goes with the yarn, perhaps a solid colour, and use that for the foot and just use your precious yarn where it will be seen? Then everyone can see your beautiful yarn and not be laughing at you! Just a thought.

KathyR
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Jacqueline
Gabber Extraordinaire

Australia
509 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  4:35:48 PM  Show Profile Send Jacqueline a Private Message
I often feel guilty when I buy yarn for three reasons I think:

1) I have lots of lovely yarn that I am just dying to knit into all these projects that I have visualised. (I generally don't buy yarn without having a project in mind first).

2)We are saving for our house deposit and everything I even contemplate buying yarn I get an attach of the guilts! Usually this is enough to stop me. It doesn't help that my SO already has his half of the deposit well and truely saved.

3) Unlike Rae my SO doesn't have a hobby to counter mine - unless you count Australian Rules Football...so he doesn't spend money on computers, video games, and since he developed sciatica late last year he hasn't even bought any new sporting equipment.

But yes I like this thread! And I am happy to join it. I think with me I need to budget out my yarn purchases similar to Rae - first bills, second savings and a little left over for yarn (even if that means I need to save my yarn money for 2 months before I have enough for a project!)

Jacqueline

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground
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momrnc
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
443 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  4:59:11 PM  Show Profile Send momrnc a Private Message
Jacqueline, you sound very sensible to me. You and your SO are saving toward a goal and you sound like you have that goal clearly in mind. I see no reason for any guilt. Good luck with your home purchase!

Kathy
Champion for the Guilt Free Knitter

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SerMom
Permanent Resident

Canada
6412 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  5:27:17 PM  Show Profile Send SerMom a Private Message
Count me in too. I have a terrible habit of feeling guilty for any money I spend on myself, including going to the dentist! (Thank god for socialized medicine, especially since I see a shrink once a week.)

My husband and I live in a household with another couple, each of us (couples) with an 8 yr. old daughter. I'm the only one who makes no financial contribution, although I am the primary care-giver for both girls, and have been since they were 2.

Intellectually, I know that my contribution is valuable, but emotionally, well, society seems to have done a good job of convincing us that if you don't bring in any money, you are worthless.

However, I have recently acquired some discretionary income, and I am going to spend it the way I want to!

Barbara

"I know we've got one SOMEWHERE"
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msgb
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
531 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  5:35:46 PM  Show Profile Send msgb a Private Message
Barbara, I hope that you are preparing two young ladies for life and that is an important job. I know you "don't bring in income" in a usual manner but you do. Think of the money that would be going towards child care if you were unable to do this important job. You are saving money and the money that you spend on your talent is important. You are helping to make yourself happy and having a happy you is important to the young lives you are touching.


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SerMom
Permanent Resident

Canada
6412 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  6:03:11 PM  Show Profile Send SerMom a Private Message
quote:

Barbara, I hope that you are preparing two young ladies for life and that is an important job. I know you "don't bring in income" in a usual manner but you do. Think of the money that would be going towards child care if you were unable to do this important job. You are saving money and the money that you spend on your talent is important. You are helping to make yourself happy and having a happy you is important to the young lives you are touching.


Wouldn't it be nice if we could get our hearts and our heads to talk to each other and reach consensus?

I know all this intellecually, but emotionally, it's still a challenge.

Barbara

"I know we've got one SOMEWHERE"
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momrnc
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
443 Posts

Posted - 08/24/2003 :  6:11:38 PM  Show Profile Send momrnc a Private Message
Isn't a sad state of affairs when THE most important and difficult job in the world--molding our young into decent human beings--is looked down upon. When did that happen? When I was growing up (I'm 44) everyone's mom was a stay-at-home mom. It was the norm.

Kathy

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Parrot Girl
Permanent Resident

2129 Posts

Posted - 08/25/2003 :  08:58:51 AM  Show Profile Send Parrot Girl a Private Message
Barbara, not making a contribution? Your contribution is huge! Figure the cost of child care for two as the base of your contribution, then factor in any extra housework or cooking you do that the others don't. I wish I had someone to take care of my house!

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." Thoreau
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Spinnerella
Permanent Resident

1040 Posts

Posted - 08/25/2003 :  09:31:14 AM  Show Profile  Visit Spinnerella's Homepage Send Spinnerella a Private Message
There are so many reasons why there should be NO guilt attached to knitting that I don't know where to start! For one thing, it is GOOD for you! Proven to relax and soothe, and studies have shown that it can benefit the brain. So, there is that aspect. But, what are most of you making with your yarn? Practical stuff for the most part, right? Nothing to induce guilt there....if you are creating gifts, clothing or household items (yeah, yeah, I know, you can usually buy stuff cheaper) why are you even talking about guilt? I do understand that most of the guilt revolves around the buying and hoarding of yarn, but give me a few minutes and I could probably rationalize that, too! (How about: since they discontinue yarns so often, you almost have to buy it when you see it and if it's on sale, so much the better.)
In my own case, I do sell many items through a small seniors' coop craft store in town, use many as gifts, and am now starting to teach at a local store, so there is some return on my hobby. But, here is what my husband does for relaxation. He collects good red wine. We have a cellar full. He collects and tries to fix antique clocks. We have a housefull, most of which don't work. He loves woodworking, so the basement and garage are full of good tools which don't produce anywhere near what my knitting needles do, proportionately speaking. He goes out to lunch "on business" every day....I do not eat much other than pb&j sandwiches or leftovers. Since I don't work anymore, I buy much of my wardrobe at Costco (great jeans) or on sale...he wears good suits, etc, etc. Heck, I am doing the man a FAVOR by buying yarn! By the way, on vacation last week in Vermont and New Hampshire, I hit every yarn shop in my Shop Finder book from Knitter's Magazine and BOUGHT YARN! We started with Green Mountain Spinnery in Putney, VT, right off the interstate....cool place, and their book is due out momentarily, yea! Found a nice little store in Lebanon, NH, a great one in Norwich, VT called Northern Nights, and the best of all, Harrisville Yarns at the Weaving Center in Harrisville, NH on the way home. Even my husband enjoyed that one.



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LinKnit
Chatty Knitter

USA
155 Posts

Posted - 08/25/2003 :  12:59:51 PM  Show Profile Send LinKnit a Private Message
Well sometimes I do feel guilty buying more yarn and then I think, "what the heck", I don't smoke, don't gamble, gave up bingo, do the housework, laundry, cooking, banking and always picking up things from the store that HE wants, I'm worth it and buy it anyway. Eversince we've been married, we've had a budget, which not only included the normal things but also included an allowance for me.Even though we're both retired and living on a fixed income, I still get a small allowance to spend on what ever I want. DH still has to comment whenever I get yarn or doll molds delivered- "Did you really need more yarn, or Just what you needed, another mold." All I say is" It's my money I'm spending." Most of the time he doesn't complain because I don't complain or comment when he buys somthing he wants- like new expensive speakers.

LindaM
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