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 Asked to redo handknit gift...
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margeaa
Chatty Knitter

USA
318 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2013 :  3:02:29 PM  Show Profile Send margeaa a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Not sure how I feel about this situation. I have a close friend who tells me that she appreciates my giving her handknit gifts. However, several times, she has asked me to redo them. For instance, she has just asked me to shorten a scarf that I gave her last year...and increase its width. If I was to only shorten it, I could easily unravel it to the length she wants....but since she wants it wider, I need to totally frog it and redo it. And hope I have enough yarn for it. This year, I gave her a cowl....but she told me that she's not sure she likes it because it's so bulky (it really isn't) around her neck and she would rather it be a short regular scarf. She also exclaimed how much she likes my washcloths.....was so excited when I made some for her (I even asked her ahead of time what color to make them in and how big).....but I never see her use them. Even though she seems to appreciate the things I knit for her, I think I'm not making anything more for her. Has anybody else had similar experiences with handknit gifts?

LJ
Permanent Resident

USA
1939 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2013 :  4:23:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit LJ's Homepage Send LJ a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oh yes. I've learned to not knit for these people.

Linda in Va

My Blog: http://wallisknits.blogspot.com
My Patterns:
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purlthis
Permanent Resident

USA
2754 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2013 :  8:24:56 PM  Show Profile  Visit purlthis's Homepage Send purlthis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If she wanted it her way right away, she should have gone to Burger King. Don't knit for her.

Rachel
------------------------------------------------------
As I get older, I prefer to knit. Tracey Ullman
http://purledthis.blogspot.com/ UPDATED! WITH PICS!
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hillstreetmama
Permanent Resident

USA
3448 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2013 :  9:32:57 PM  Show Profile Send hillstreetmama a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If she gave you a gift card to a restaurant, would you ask her to take it back and give you one to Target instead? Of course not. It would be rude. She SAYS she appreciates what you make but disregards your feelings and asks you to undo your hard work and do it again....her way. I don't think I'd knit for her again.

Maybe you could give her knitting lessons as a gift. Then she would learn to appreciate the work/time/money that even the smallest gift takes.

Jan
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eldergirl
Permanent Resident

USA
1809 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2013 :  10:16:07 PM  Show Profile Send eldergirl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'm with the folks who say, "Don't knit for her!" Actually, I am kind of appalled that someone
would be so rude as to ask you to change a handmade gift.

My mom never appreciated my knitted gifts---gloves, socks, etc. but they never really fit her, either, so maybe I should have learned a lesson there.

But keep knitting!

Best wishes,

Anna

Life is beautiful.
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kkknitter
Seriously Hooked

699 Posts

Posted - 03/01/2013 :  09:16:00 AM  Show Profile Send kkknitter a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Margeaa, you should not knit any more stuff for you friend because it sounds like you will have your feelings hurt with each gift. To offer to show her how to knit is a good idea. And, if she asks why you are not knitting for her anymore you can tell her that if she knows how to knit she can make exactly what she wants.
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lucybug
Chatty Knitter

USA
102 Posts

Posted - 03/01/2013 :  11:05:39 AM  Show Profile Send lucybug a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I agree with everyone - I wouldn't knit for her as she doesn't appreciate your time and effort. I had a thread a few months ago about knitting into a black hole -- my family would say "thanks, I love it" then I'd never see their handknits again. So no more. I only knit for me and my husband. I feel selfish but if they don't want it, what's the point? It's very hurtfull and I'm sure no one means to be mean -- they don't understand.

Pam in the Colorado mountains
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margeaa
Chatty Knitter

USA
318 Posts

Posted - 03/01/2013 :  2:24:11 PM  Show Profile Send margeaa a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thanks for everyone's input. I've decided to not knit anything more for her. I offered to teach her to knit awhile back but she isn't interested and said she just loves the things that I knit for her! She is very hard to please and is very particular about her things. Doesn't try new things and is set in her ways....as I mentioned before, I knit her a cowl for Christmas...but she just wants a short scarf...so...I learned my lesson.
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agnesgooch
Gabber Extraordinaire

573 Posts

Posted - 03/01/2013 :  6:15:14 PM  Show Profile Send agnesgooch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Reading your post made my blood boil! I definitely would never knit anything for her again. I would probably take back the scarf and cowl and either keep them or give them to someone else. She sounds like she's very hard to please. I pity salespeople who have to deal with her.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/24181181@N07/
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ikkivan
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
544 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2013 :  08:55:52 AM  Show Profile  Visit ikkivan's Homepage Send ikkivan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well, this is not exactly a "re-do" in the sense mentioned previously, but over the holidays my college-age granddaughter brought me a pair of socks I had made her a few years ago with two HUGE ragged holes in the heels and asked me to please mend them for her; she brought the leftover yarn with her. The yarn was some she had custom-dyed for me to use and there was plenty left for a second pair of socks.

I told her two things: knowing that she loves her hand-knit socks and washes them herself, I said she needs to change her mindset when she sees a place beginning to wear thin ... she needs to stop wearing them RIGHT THEN and mend them instead of seeing how many more times she can wear them before the worn areas actually become holes.

Then, I told her she needs to watch some videos to learn how to darn her own socks!

She left me the remaining yarn and I promised to knit her another pair.

Oh, I DID use reinforcement thread in the heels of those socks; just shows how much longer she kept wearing them after the holes began forming. Duh.

Donna, with intentions always bigger than her available time. (OkieDokieKnitter on Ravelry)
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jtamsn
Permanent Resident

USA
1688 Posts

Posted - 03/03/2013 :  12:34:00 PM  Show Profile Send jtamsn a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I have re-worked a neckline, when a head wouldn't fit through the pullover sweater, but to do as your "friend" has asked, is ungrateful. It would be the last gift I made for her.
judy
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hillstreetmama
Permanent Resident

USA
3448 Posts

Posted - 03/06/2013 :  06:19:53 AM  Show Profile Send hillstreetmama a Private Message  Reply with Quote
You could tell her to return the things she doesn't like, and you will "see what you can do..." Then re-gift them and never get around to re-doing anything for her.

Jan
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purlewe
Permanent Resident

1921 Posts

Posted - 03/07/2013 :  2:58:18 PM  Show Profile  Visit purlewe's Homepage Send purlewe a Private Message  Reply with Quote
oh yes. i am with never knitting for her again.

My cousin returned a sweater his mom knit for him. His excuse was "I wouldn't buy it in a store and keep it if I didn't like it" And he asked her to change it from a collar to a crew neck. I don't think my aunt ever finished that sweater.

Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming. ~Myrna Loy
http://purlewe.typepad.com/
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donnawatk
Seriously Hooked

766 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2013 :  05:12:08 AM  Show Profile Send donnawatk a Private Message  Reply with Quote
It was the first lace scarf I ever made I was so proud of it, it is beautiful. I gave it to her and she said can you make this longer and a little wider. She didn't even try it on to see how long it was. I'm wearing the scarf now. Donna
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lucybug
Chatty Knitter

USA
102 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2013 :  08:18:25 AM  Show Profile Send lucybug a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This just happened to me last night. I am president of our local chapter of an organization that raises money for womens education. It's a tradition in our chapter that the night new officers are installed for the year the president gives the outgoing officers a little thank you gift. I made bath mitts -- had to make 6 so I bought 6 different colors of yarn. I also bought some scented hand made soaps and made gift bags out of fabric and ribbon. In other words I put a lot of time into the gifts, which I was happy to do as these are special women.

Well, 5 of the 6 women were quite appreciative and gracious. The sixth came up to me and asked if I had more mitts at home. She had to ask twice as I couldn't understand what she was saying. She said she doesn't like pink and wanted a different color. I said she should ask someone if they wanted to trade. She said AGAIN that she doesn't like pink. How rude is that? It ruined the experience for me and may just buy some dumb thing next year.

Pam in the Colorado mountains
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robinstephanie
Permanent Resident

USA
1257 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2013 :  10:14:24 AM  Show Profile Send robinstephanie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oh, Pam, that stinks, and I think you handled it perfectly when you told her she could offer to trade with one of the other women.

Don't let her behavior keep you from enjoying the graciousness of the other five women. The fact that she doesn't like pink is her problem; sounds like she tried to make it yours.



Robinsteph

Different is good. ~Matthew Hoover
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mertle
Permanent Resident

USA
1734 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2013 :  11:07:42 AM  Show Profile Send mertle a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I know how it can really hurt when your hard work goes unappreciated. Non-knitters simply have no idea how much time and skill goes into it. No idea! An unacknowledged BSJ last spring left me with no desire to knit at all. My knitting moxie is GONE!

Marilyn
My Bags
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dothead
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
542 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2013 :  11:42:06 AM  Show Profile Send dothead a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Marilyn, I just looked at your bags. I hope you get your knitting moxie back. They are BEAUTIFUL!

Vicki, the Constant Lurker(who sometimes stops lurking and actually posts)
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crafty1mjw@comcast.net
Seriously Hooked

USA
910 Posts

Posted - 03/09/2013 :  5:38:29 PM  Show Profile Send crafty1mjw@comcast.net a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Definitely, don't knit for her anymore! Someone I used to knit for stopped asking me to knit things for her & started telling me! This was one of quite a few things that ended our friendship.

craftymjw

Keep on knitting!
A balanced diet is a peanut butter cookie in each hand!
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