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5needlesmatt
New Pal
USA
33 Posts |
 Posted - 10/10/2006 : 5:34:36 PM
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| Something that's been nagging me lately is that I seem to be the only guy in many of the activities I participate in. On Saturday, I attended the first session of a knitting class, and of course I was the only man there, as I am always the only man in the yarn shop not tagging along with a woman. I work as a special education assistant, and of the six staff in the classroom in which I work, I'm the only man. I'm also only one of two male assistants in the whole building. I regularly find myself as either the only man or one of two men at church discussion groups and things. Is something wrong with me? I value having male friends, but I just don't encounter them in the events I tend to go to. Is there something wrong with me, or with the male gender in U.S. culture? |
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fmarrs
Guardian angel
USA
9776 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2006 : 5:54:59 PM
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None of the above. You just have to be in a situation where you are the only one. There are many male teachers and assistants. There are an amazing number of male knitters but not many of them attend classes just as most female knitters are not taking classes. Churches are also full of men. My son-in-law spends all day Sunday and at least 2 other days in church related activities. He is also a musician and a martial artist.
Be true to yourself and you will be okay.
fran
http://martianmischief.blogspot.com/ |
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maldacht
Warming Up
66 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2006 : 05:16:57 AM
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I am a knitter, a librarian, father and I am active in my church and yes there are not a lot of men in my activities but there are a some. I always view it as a plus at larger meetings - No lines for the mens room!
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MY BLOG Link
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Momma78239
Permanent Resident
USA
4859 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2006 : 09:56:56 AM
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All the other straight men are sitting around wondering how to meet women, or if they have a lady already, are wondering how to understand them. You, on the other hand, know how to both meet and talk to, and maybe even understand, the "fairer sex."
My husband knits, and sometimes comes to our Stitch'n'bee-hotch, where he's one of only two men. The other guy is there nearly every week and is pretty much doted on by all us gals. On the other hand, I'm in the worship team at our church, where for years I was the only woman.
-WendyM[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Momma78239/smallspindlepic.gif[/IMG]
And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. Exodus 35:25 |
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KatieKnits99
New Pal
37 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 8:31:00 PM
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I think it's wonderful that you are open to doing things that you love. They just happen to involve more women than men. I am teaching a friend to knit and he asked me to teach him in private so he can develop his skill before coming to our knitting guild. It might me that "I want to look success at what I'm doing thing" and most guys (that I know anyway) don't want to look like they don't know what they're doing.
I applaud you! Don't worry what other people think....just do what you love and love what you do.
KatieKnits99
"The reward of labor is life!" |
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Atavistic
Permanent Resident
6604 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 8:37:26 PM
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I am one of two women in my taekwondo class (she just started coming). I am the oldest person, too. I am the only foreigner, of course. Yesterday I was in a gym with at least 400 people, but closer to 500 and I was the single foreigner there.
It was weird at first. I'm getting used to it.
You'll get used to it, too.
Amanda Takes Off... and
Amanda Knits
Only you can decide how tongue in cheek I am. |
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booklover1971
New Pal
6 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:37:35 PM
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| Sounds to me like you're a man who appreciates a different kind of activity and company than the "typical" man in America. That's okay! Be true to yourself! |
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gallant_duck
Chatty Knitter
United Kingdom
183 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:48:16 PM
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I suspect it's as much to do with the things you're interested in as it is cultural gender sequencing in the States. A lot of men, as well as a lot of women, find it hard to allow people to escape the constructs of 'given' gender roles. Actually, not just the States, anywhere. Over here it's pretty rare to see men getting involved in knitting circles, and yet two men (Chris and Gerard) have had I Knit London going for yonks and recently opened up a shop in Vauxhall (south London). And they're brilliant.
Sadly, a lot of organic creative stuff -- i.e. craft without hammers -- gets chucked in the soppy female camp. It's taken years of reclaiming the notion that our sort of creativity is productive, useful and empowering for women, let alone trying to introduce the idea to a largely patriarchal social network.
I do think it's worth remembering that knitting is only fairly recently a 'woman's hobby'. In 16th C France, knitting guilds were men only. Knitting spread across Europe via (male) sailors and soldiers during the Crusades. Only after the Industrial Revolution sent men into the factories did knitting get shut inside and become domesticated. Really, you're just one part in a long line of masculine activity. The fact you have to question yourself for being so speaks volumes about how much our society has evolved, but also where it's going. Roll over Mrs Beeton.
emmms
http://erqsome.typepad.com |
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kdcrowley
Permanent Resident
USA
4773 Posts |
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5needlesmatt
New Pal
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2006 : 5:28:28 PM
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| Thank you for your reassurance and advice, everybody. To the most recent post, I have to reply that I am very happily married, and my wife and I are involved in a number of the activities I mentioned (church, knitting) together. She's very supportive and never tells me I need to live up to all the machismo b.s. we see on TV and so forth. |
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LoneKnitter
Chatty Knitter
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2006 : 2:05:43 PM
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DARN - The good ones are always taken! HA HA HA HA  Don't let the people around you determine the person you are supposed to be. Do what you want to do - life is too short to deny yourself happiness! |
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Kelly B
Permanent Resident
USA
2206 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2006 : 8:57:38 PM
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| We're working on the coming generation - my 5th grade boy and his (male) friend are going to try the knitting club tomorrow. They both already know how. |
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5needlesmatt
New Pal
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 10/19/2006 : 4:30:37 PM
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| That's awesome that you got your son knitting! Should my wife and I have a son some day, I hope he'll pick it up, too. |
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Ruby Plaid
Seriously Hooked
USA
657 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2006 : 07:58:36 AM
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I had a similar situation when I was in art school in the 90's. I took some classes on how to draw comic book style, and I was literally the only woman, or one of two women, in every class! [:00]
My sassy knitting blog is here: http://www.rubyplaid.com
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aranworld
New Pal
USA
48 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2006 : 08:29:26 AM
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With the sole exception of a short-lived part-time job in college, all my bosses have been women. I spend most of my time with my girlfriend and her friends, and I am generally happiest in the company of women.
The only problem with hanging out with women, is that they are rarely interested in playing video games. If there was a "stitch 'n beach 'n video game" group, I'd be there in a heartbeat.
http://knitting.aranworld.com/ |
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collieknit
Warming Up
84 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2006 : 3:56:31 PM
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| For me, it's not very unusual to be around women for the majority of the day. I am the only guy where I work, and the only guy at my knitting group. |
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dad_who_spins
New Pal
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2006 : 08:50:30 AM
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Hi 5needlesmatt,
I, too, am frequently the only male or one of a few males involved in the activities or pursuits which I enjoy. I’m happily married, too, and my wife and I both enjoy the fiber arts. Although you and I don’t follow mainstream American male pursuits, it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, me or the male gender in U.S. culture. The “norm” is the norm and will always be determined by society. I recognized long ago that being different from “the norm” comes with benefits as well as costs. With that realization, I’ve chosen to go my own way because that’s ultimately what makes me the happiest and most productive person I can be.
Lucky for me I’ve always found it easier to establish and maintain friendships with women than with other guys. I’m a ponderer, dreamer, and talker, and I find most women more willing than men to listen, discuss, and reflect on various topics that are consistent with my interests. I don’t follow the outcomes of professional sports, have no fascination with hunting, fishing or golf, view cars as merely transportation, and only enjoy the use of power tools for creative purposes. After you eliminate these popular male conversational topics, you are left with things like religion and politics (potentially controversial) or career and work (competitive or boring). This pretty much limits my participation in small talk and conversation starters with other men. However, I’m okay with that and I guess since I’ve not had many close friendships with other guys, I don’t know what I’m missing. Like another responder to your post, I take solace in the benefit of shorter restroom lines at fiber arts events.
dad_who_spins
Addicted to Spinning |
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KL
Permanent Resident
6041 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2006 : 09:59:50 AM
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Another spin to Men who really like the company of women, is my Tom.
Yes he is a "Motor Head",[collects and rebuilds classic cars], knows his way around the tool box , can build anything,likes to play golf, is a great creative cook,and makes guy friends easily.
That being said- He is totally fascinated with the comeraderie of women, loves to tune in on their conversations as a listener, is awed by their collective talents, thinks that they have a strength that Men can't comprehend, gives them great respect at all ages, and basically thinks that most men would revert to being cavepersons if it were not for women.
I have tried to tell him that I think he would really make a great knitter, as he is so creative in general; but he seems to draw the line at that point.[:00]
I'll keep trying. Maybe when he can't see his way around the garage; I can convince him to pick up the needles.
Male knitters ROCK!KL |
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Elisjay
New Pal
United Kingdom
18 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 08:12:46 AM
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| Just go out and do your own thing. As long as you are happy with your lifestyle don't worry about others. There are men out there who knit, sew and various other hobbies that seem to collect more females but there again there are women taking up engineering, wood work and all sorts of manly type jobs. Go out and enjoy it there must be some who are quite jealous of your talents. |
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chiral
Warming Up
Australia
64 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2010 : 04:25:57 AM
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I have been knitting and sewing for 30 years as a result of having small kids and a wife who could do neither. My biggest "gripe" is being talked down to by ladies who run sewing and yarn shops. If I had 5 cents for every time I've heard "What does your wife want you to get?" I'd be rich.
I stayed away from knitting clubs because I always went without the wife (lack of interest on her part) and found myself the center of a little too much attention. I like meeting people and sharing knowledge but I just get a bit sick of the same things happening over and over.
Back in the early 80's I was part of an Australia-wide Male Knitters Club but with 1,000's of miles between members we never met up and the group eventually folded. This did make me aware of how many male knitters there are, even in a country that frowns upon such things.
Steve
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chiral1/ |
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hillstreetmama
Permanent Resident
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2010 : 1:10:24 PM
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My son is 17 and knits. He learned in middle school, along with a group of friends, both male and female. Back then, they all came to the Sit & Knit Nite at the LYS, but high school and all its busyness made them quit coming. Lately, he and two of his (male) friends have been going to the LYS to knit every Tuesday after school. I think it's cool. He doesn't often come to me for help - he saves his questions for the LYSO.
He's very interested in music and drama, so I guess this is just another artistic outlet. Though the knitting sometimes raises eyebrows, it's usually MY generation (questioning his sexual orientation, I think) - HIS generation is okay with it.
Jan
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Am I the only guy who ... ?
