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 Holiday knitting selfishness/guilt?
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rina
New Pal

15 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2006 :  3:29:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit rina's Homepage Send rina a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ever go shopping for holiday gifts for friends and family and then... pick up a few things fo yourself in addition, and come home laden not just with merchandise but with guilt?

Am I alone in having similar issues with knitting/crochet? In some ways, making things to give away is an excuse for me to spend money on expensive yarn that I wouldn't buy for myself. And then I wind up kind of jealous of the recipient.

I made a gorgeous scarf for my sister and spent nearly $50 on ArtFibers yarn--the most I'd spend on myself is $20. I'm glad she wears it and gets compliments, but I am also a tad envious.

Or, I feel guilty because I'm spending time on a cardigan for myself instead of working on the next hat or scarf to give away. And then the sweater languishes while I work on gifts; it will be nearly spring by the time it's done.

And then there's just the fact that I'm spending so much money on yarn hobbies while my husband packs lunch to take to work to save money.

Is this normal? Or am I just a bad, bad person?[blush]

kadiddly
Permanent Resident

USA
3076 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2006 :  3:51:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit kadiddly's Homepage  Send kadiddly a Yahoo! Message Send kadiddly a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If you feel guilty about it, don't do it. Knitting is a hobby. It should relax you and allow you to spend free time doing something you enjoy. If you don't enjoy it thoroughly, don't do it. Only you know your budget and how much you are able to spend on your hobby.

"Alright everyone, back to your knitting..."
- Fred or George Weasley, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (movie)
Backstage Stitches
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suzannevh
Gabber Extraordinaire

565 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2006 :  5:58:47 PM  Show Profile Send suzannevh a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Rina, you shouldn't feel guilty about knitting for yourself. Knitting for others can often be motivating because it feels good and there is a deadline of sorts but there is no reason why you shouldn't be knitting for yourself instead. If your yarn budget is tight why don't you save the luxury yarn for special projects for yourself. You will appreciate the fine yarn more than any of your intended recipients.

Check out my project blog
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2006 :  9:48:30 PM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No guilt allowed! If the problem is money then you have to budget out what you can afford. If you want more, work more or cut back. Or better yet, stop buying the stunning yarn for others and use it for you.

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Bethany
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USA
1546 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2006 :  11:45:20 PM  Show Profile Send Bethany a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I personally have no problem buying nice yarn for myself. (I bought yarn to make myself, er, two sweaters when I was at Artfibers in the spring. I had guilt, but that's because it was more money than I should have spent at the time period, not because it was on me.) In fact, I think my taking up knitting might be why there seems to be less money hanging about in my bank account, so I'm starting to watch myself. Still buying nice yarn, but spaced out with nice but less expensive yarn. :-)

Is your husband packing lunch to work to save money because you guys are on a tight budget? Or is it just to save money in general? I pack myself lunch (or at least pick up Lean Cusine frozen meals on sale, still cheaper than going out.) Then I spend the money I save on fun stuff like yarn. :-) I'm not married but I imagine if my spouse had a hobby he really enjoyed I'd be willing to pack lunch to save money so he could buy fun stuff for that, too. I just think there's more entertaining things to spend money on than going out for mediocre fast food / cafeteria food lunch. (Healthier, too -- even frozen dinners if you watch what you buy.)

I guess my point is if your husband doesn't object to the current household allocations of money for lunch vs money for fun stuff, then you needn't feel guilty about it.

I guess I've never really understood feeling bad for not knitting for other people. Knitting is YOUR hobby, right? Do the people you knit things for sit around feeling guilty that they don't spend more of their hobby time doing things for you? I'm guessing they don't and that you don't expect them too.

Not that it's not great to do things for other people, but they're not more important than you, or more deserving of nice scarves than you. :-)
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lucylocket
Permanent Resident

4172 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2006 :  12:11:20 AM  Show Profile Send lucylocket a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Rina don't feel bad about it - I do it every year !!Christmas shopping is full of temptations !!I go to buy something and something else catches my eye - Books ,Teddy Bears and DVDs are my downfall!!Never feel guilty about knitting things for yourself at this time of the year or any time really - Buy good quality wool for yourself too !Doesn't have to be super-expensive!I use good quality wool(not expensive)to knit my toys !!Have fun with your knitting - Lucylocket[meow]

My Pictures[http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucicat/]
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Mickey
Permanent Resident

USA
1670 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2006 :  02:35:28 AM  Show Profile Send Mickey a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Am I feeling guilty for spending my hard earned money and/or my time (i.e. knitting) on myself? Absolutely not! Never!!
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frenetic@charter.net
Permanent Resident

1386 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2006 :  04:52:56 AM  Show Profile Send frenetic@charter.net a Private Message  Reply with Quote
We all need to nurture ourselves. If knitting something for yourself makes you happy, it is not selfish. Your happiness will spread to others.....like the smile that traveled around the world.
Sharon
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HomekeepingGran
Seriously Hooked

614 Posts

Posted - 12/18/2006 :  3:10:56 PM  Show Profile Send HomekeepingGran a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Swimming against the stream here yes, I feel bad about spending money, although we're not hurting at all and are most definitely not on a strict budget. And yes again, I am quite a bit cheaper with myself than with other people. I know exactly where you are coming from, Rina! I also feel bad when I buy yarn and then don't like it. Sometimes I can return it, but occasionally that doesn't work. "NOW what am I going to do with this?" A total waste of my husband's life when he provides the dollars to buy it!

Blessings,
Carla

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands... Proverbs 31:13
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mokey
Permanent Resident

15375 Posts

Posted - 12/18/2006 :  3:23:31 PM  Show Profile Send mokey a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by HomekeepingGran

And yes again, I am quite a bit cheaper with myself than with other people.


I am the opposite. Since I know how much of my free time it takes to make something I can go crazy and spend as much time and money as I want since I know the receiver will enjoy!

quote:
Originally posted by HomekeepingGran

A total waste of my husband's life when he provides the dollars to buy it!


Time to get a job and earn your own cash so you don't have to depend on hubby's approval!

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HomekeepingGran
Seriously Hooked

614 Posts

Posted - 12/19/2006 :  05:17:09 AM  Show Profile Send HomekeepingGran a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I had to think about what to reply to you, Mokey, in the right way. It is not my husband who is cheap with me, I am cheap with myself and it would make no difference whether I had "my own money" from an outside job or not. I DID work outside the home for a long time, but thankfully am not now. Being cheap with myself is my decision, not his (smile). I never dreamed my innocent comment telling Rina I knew how she felt could be construed against my generous husband and am sorry it came across to you like that! I will add that I've been aware for many years that when I make foolish purchases or am wasteful, it becomes "throwing away" my husband's life, after a manner of speaking, since he is the one working very hard to provide these things. I'm far too young to have grown up in the Depression, but I did grow up in a less-than-affluent household so perhaps I have a different perspective than some others.


Blessings,
Carla

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands... Proverbs 31:13
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Chemcats
Permanent Resident

3337 Posts

Posted - 12/19/2006 :  06:03:32 AM  Show Profile Send Chemcats a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Guilt? Nope! I believe in buying myself a Christmas present too! I knit for many others during the holidays. And they are well thought out and usually well liked AND take TIME. A couple of months knitting for others certainly deserves some knitting for me. Fair is fair!

And as far as the $ on yarn is concerned. I shop carefully, and this year I am knitting from stash only...unless someone wants something special and I don't have it. I don't work out side the home and I don't have children. BUT I do the majority of home repairs, cook 3 meals a day from scratch, I do all the paperwork and bills, and I clean occasionally, heehee. My DH supports my efforts completely because he enjoys the idea of no effort, no responsibility at home...he is free to do as he sees fit and is very happy with that. AND he enjoys the process of spinning and knitting almost as much as I do. I'm in heaven. Without guilt!

Meribeth
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v-allknit
Seriously Hooked

India
741 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2007 :  04:08:59 AM  Show Profile Send v-allknit a Private Message  Reply with Quote
i got o buy yarn to complete a project.. when i fall short and end up buying more yarn for 2 more projects, dont know when i will stop doing that. i keep promising myslef next time i am not doing this. but no use, my stash is ever growing. so resolution for 2007... knit from stash. lets see.......

shruti

My finished projects

My blog


more knitting pictures
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galleylama
Seriously Hooked

753 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2007 :  04:18:11 AM  Show Profile Send galleylama a Private Message  Reply with Quote
You are worth it! It's always nice to make something for someone special in your life, but you need to feed your own soul. Enjoy your knitting and don't worry.

It is easier to be forgiven than to receive permission.
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knittingbuzz
Permanent Resident

USA
1122 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2007 :  04:47:04 AM  Show Profile  Visit knittingbuzz's Homepage Send knittingbuzz a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I look at it this way...if I just wanted a sweater, its much more prudent both time & money to buy off the rack....so when knitting a sweater for myself, I do it because the yarn &/or pattern is special and it will be a one of a kind....my own creation. So no guilt!
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procrastiknitter
Permanent Resident

Canada
1415 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2007 :  09:17:13 AM  Show Profile Send procrastiknitter a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I see my yarn purchases in three ways: as a gift for the recipient of the project, a means of not supporting sweatshop labour, and as a leisure activity for myself. Thus, the cost reflects gift and entertainment spending. In my family, handknit gifts are highly valued, so $10 worth of sock yarn knitted into socks makes a perfectly acceptable gift when otherwise $40-50 dollars would be spent.
If you spend more on yarn for gifts than you would otherwise spend on a gift, ask yourself if the cost difference is justified by the entertainment factor.
As for hubby taking a lunch to work, in my book, that does not constitute a sacrifice. Healthier food at a lower price is a good thing, not a sacrifice. Thinking otherwise is a large part of why the world is so messed up these days.

Nothing gives me quite so much joy as when people tell me that they have had their pets spayed or neutered - Bob Barker
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